


anatomy

by WattStalf



Series: Medical Malpractice OTP [36]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, IM REALLY SORRY FOR THIS, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Tags to be added, Teacher-Student Relationship, Vaginal Fingering, doing this, i promised myself i wouldnt do this but here i am, no smut until later chapters, oh god here comes the sin, probably a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-06 08:10:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8741902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WattStalf/pseuds/WattStalf
Summary: In true student-teacher fic fashion, Emilia is the new student; she's brilliant but she struggles to bond with her classmates because of this. Shingen is her anatomy teacher, an eccentric man that the students aren't quite sure about; naturally, Emilia is drawn to him from the beginning.There will probably be a better summary later, but yeah, just working with their canon age gap and having them meet at a school rather than a job





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I'm sorry. I tried to not write this, but then I did. So yeah. I'm sorry.  
> Second of all, I gave Emilia a last name cos obviously they aren't married yet.  
> Third of all, I wondered for a while where I would set this. Would it be an American high school, with Shingen as their foreign teacher, but leaving Emilia with no friends? Would it be a Japanese high school and Emilia be a foreign transfer studen, but risk me fucking up cultural things? Or would it be a weird high school in the nth dimension, where it follows the rules of American high school, but pretty much everyone except Emilia is Japanese? I went with the last one, because...  
> Fourth of all, Erika and Walker are in this because I can't resist making Emilia and Erika friends at every opportunity. Not sure yet if I'm gonna ship them or not, but they're here.

The first day of school is hard for most people, and it is particularly hard for new students. For a student that is both new _and_ starting their senior year...well, it's understandable that that student might dread the first day most of all. Emilia Adams is one such student, and, having just moved to a new city, she's never met _anyone_ attending her new high school.

She can't say that she's excited for having to start over somewhere new, but she also isn't really leaving all that much behind. For a while now, she's had a hard time making friends and finding a place where she fits in, and she only had a few people she would consider friends at her old school, and they were not particularly close. She doesn't think she's going to miss them all that much, but it's going to be hard starting over, and during the last year, on top of that.

Everyone has their place already, and it'll be even harder for her than usual to try to fit into one now, but she tries to tell herself that she doesn't care. It's only one year, and she can bear being a little lonely for that long, especially considering she's got a lot to do to get ready for college. Of course, she already has her top choices lined up and has been working on applications, but she has to make sure her transcript from her old school transferred to this one properly, and she has to make sure her college counselor knows exactly what her plans are.

She has a lot of things to keep her busy, so she decides to not let anything else distract her, not even her own loneliness. It's her last year in high school, and Emilia hopes that, once she's graduated, it's all uphill from there.

~X~

On the first day, though she's decided not to care if she makes friends or not, she can't help but hope that she also doesn't make enemies. She hopes that she isn't bullied here; at her old school, she had been bullied a bit her freshman year, though most people grew out of it midway through sophomore year. Hopefully, everyone has already grown out of it here as well, and she has nothing to worry about on that front.

She's looked over her subjects for the year, and everything seems easy enough. They don't have as many higher level classes as her old school, but she has a lot on her application already, so she isn't too worried about that. She's worked hard enough that she thinks she's earned being able to take it easy her senior year.

In her first class, she's asked to introduce herself, and she tells them her name and what she's planning to do in college, all the why trying to keep her legs from shaking. Fortunately, she makes it all the way back to her desk without incident, and the class goes on, and she moves onto the next one, where she isn't made to introduce herself. All the students are given a questionnaire to fill out, to help the teacher get to know them, but class ends a little early and they're allowed to talk amongst themselves.

Emilia doesn't know anybody, and nobody makes a move to talk to her, so she ends up pulling a book out of her backpack and reading for the rest of class. As always, she's not able to introduce herself to anyone, and by the time class ends, she hasn't spoken with anybody, and she moves on to her third class of the day.

She expects this class to go just the same as the first two, but when she sits down in her seat, another girl sits down next to her and, after a moment, turns to her to speak. “Hey, I've never seen you before. Are you new?”

“I am,” she replies, offering the girl a smile. “My name is Emilia!”

“I'm Erika Karisawa, nice to meet ya!” the girl says with a wide grin. “Did you just move here or something?”

“I moved here a few weeks ago.”

“Oh, wow, that must be hard, coming in during your last year. I've been in the same school district my whole life,” says Erika. “Well, anyway, if you need anyone to hang out with, don't hesitate to follow me around!”

Emilia feels her heart swelling in delight; she never expected to have someone approach her on the very first day like this. “Thank you so much.”

“Don't mention it. I'm sure it can't be easy, transferring this late in high school, and there's always room for new friends at my lunch table.” Erika beams with so much sincerity that Emilia really wonders how she got so lucky as to meet someone like her this early on. “So, I'll wait for you outside the cafeteria after fourth hour, okay?”

~X~

Fourth hour passes much like first and second, but Emilia isn't quite as discouraged, knowing that she has Erika to meet up with. When the class is over, she gathers her things up quickly to hurry there, and Erika is waiting for her, just as she promised. With her is a young man, and when she starts waving Emilia over, he joins in, even though they've never met before.

“Emilia, this is Walker Yumasaki. Yumachi, this is Emilia...Adams, right?” When she nods, Erika also nods. “Awesome! Alright, let's get in there!”

The three of them settle at a table and begin eating, and once a conversation begins, it becomes very clear to Emilia what draws these two together. Their both  _incredibly_ enthusiastic about anime and manga and something they call light novels, and have a tendency to get distracted by their own topics and go off on tangents before remembering that their supposed to be getting to know each other better. Still, Emilia thinks it's funny and just ends up smiling and laughing whenever they get like this.

“So, what about you, Emichi? Is it okay if I call you that?”

“Of course! And, let's see...I really like science, particularly biology, human anatomy...but I'm also interested in reading pretty much anything, so if the two of you have any recommendations, I'll be sure to check it out!”

“You have no idea what you've just gotten yourself into,” Erika says shaking her head.

“Yeah, I could go on for hours about the sort of things you simply _have_ to give a chance before you die!” adds Walker.

“But I think that should be saved for a day when we know each other better,” finishes the girl. “Now, you say you like anatomy. Are you in the anatomy class?”

“I am, seventh hour,” she replies. “I saw it was a possible elective, and I was really happy!”

“We took it our junior year,” says Erika. “It's pretty cool.”

“I took it last year at my old school,” Emilia confesses, “but I was really glad when they said I could take it again here.”

“Aw, man, you're so lucky they let you. If _I_ could take it again _here_ , I would,” says Walker. “Dr. Kishitani is the coolest, you know?”

“He's pretty weird,” Erika says. “Yumachi loves him, but a lot of people are a little put off by him.”

“Huh? Weird? What do you mean by that?” She cocks her head.

“Nah, I'm not gonna spoil the surprise,” replies Erika.

“Yeah, you'll just have to see for yourself,” he agrees.

“Either way, he's not _bad_ weird. He's a good teacher, so as long as you work hard, he'll probably love you.”

~X~

In the afternoon, Emilia ends up having her sixth class with both Erika  _and_ Walker, and considers herself very lucky indeed. They both wish her luck on her way to her seventh, and she wonders if she should be nervous. They've both assured her that there's nothing to worry about with Dr. Kishitani, and Walker seems to really like him, but she still has no idea what they mean when they say he's weird or that they don't want to spoil the surprise.

She's trying to run through possibilities in her end when she enters the classroom...and sees a man, writing on the board, wearing a white gas mask and a long lab coat.

He turns when he hears her enter the room and says, “I don't have a seating chart, so you can sit wherever you like.”

Emilia feels her pulse quicken and her face flush, though she isn't sure why. Perhaps a case of second hand embarrassment for his odd sense of fashion? But, at the same time, she has to admit that it's peculiar in a very interesting way, and she might even think it cool, if she saw it on a fictional character or read about when researching historic scientists. On a high school teacher, it's a bit much, but also admirable that he doesn't seem to care enough what anyone thinks to stop himself.

Thinking about that reminds her of how strange it is for someone with a high enough degree to be called a doctor to be teaching school, but she doesn't think it's polite to ask a teacher this within the first few minutes of meeting him, so she nods and picks a seat instead. She chooses the one in the front and center, both because she's so studious that she always tries to sit close to the board, if possible, and because of her personal interest in her teacher.

More students filter in and the bells rings, and then Dr. Kishitani addresses the class. “Well, I'm sure most of you have heard of me by now, or at  _least_ seen me roaming around school. I'm also sure a lot of you are taking the class out of a curiosity about that rather than human anatomy, but remember that that's the purpose of this class, and if your grades suffer, you have only yourself to blame.

“My name is Shingen Kishitani- Dr. Kishitani to students- and I have a degree in medicine, hence the doctor bit, and my masters in biology. I'm currently going for a PhD, and I decided to take it easy and work as a high school teacher in the mean time. Before any of you ask, I wear a gas mask to protect myself and my lungs from city air, which is absolutely disgusting.” He finishes his little speech with a nod, before moving on. “Now, as for the rest of you, I'm going to get to know your names eventually, but if it's not too much trouble, try to stay in around the same seat for a few weeks until I've got it. I've got a little questionnaire for you to fill out, and while you're working, I'd like to go around the room and everyone say their names.”

Emilia starts filling it out, and though it begins with similar questions to the ones she saw before (“What's your name?”, “What year are you?”, “What are you planning to study in college?”, “What's your favorite book/TV show/movie/etc.?”), there are a few that are a bit more unusual.

_If you were selling organs on the black market, what organ do you think would be the most popular?_

_What is your favorite mythical creature? Do you have reason to believe it exists? If so, please explain._

All in all, there is nothing ordinary about this teacher, and by the time the bell rings, it feels like no time has passed at all, she's been so captivated by him. Even as she walks home, she finds that her thoughts still rest on her eccentric teacher, and she's more intrigued than she understands.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's more of the AU no one asked for lmao

“Hey, Emilia!” a voice calls out to her. She turns to see Erika running up behind her while she walks home. “Hey, wait up!”

She stops, and when Erika catches up to her, she says, “Were you trying to run off before I could ask you what you thought?”

“Huh? What I thought about what?” Despite her thoughts resting solely on her new teacher, she forgets that Erika had previously warned her about him.

“Dr. Kishitani, of course!” she replies. “What did you think about him?”

“Oh! Oh, I thought he was really nice,” says Emilia. “He's actually kind of cool.”

“Cool?” With that, Erika groans. “Oh, no, not another one! Between you and Yumachi, I swear...” She shakes her head, laughing. “No, but seriously, he's a nice guy, if you do your work on time and don't go out of your way to piss him off. I mean, at least, as a teacher. A lot of people are super creeped out by him, but, then, you've got people like Yumachi, who idolize him.”

“I don't see why anyone wouldn't like him,” says Emilia, without really thinking. She doesn't know why, but she feels herself starting to blush after she says it, as if she just said something she shouldn't have. However, Erika doesn't react to that, and instead asks her more questions about her day.

While she makes conversation, her thoughts still linger on Dr. Kishitani, and she wonders why she can't take her mind off her teacher. She doesn't know why she feels so embarrassed to think about him so much either, or why she's already so excited for her seventh class the next day. But she is, and after she and Erika go her separate ways, she spends the rest of the evening trying to distract herself.

~X~

The next morning, she wakes up in an incredibly good mood, and it takes her a moment to realize that it is because she's excited about going to school for once. Or, more accurately, she's excited to actually start classes, and excited to actually start her anatomy class. She's curious about Dr. Kishitani's teaching style, and she's curious about how the other students react to it.

Of course, she has her other classes to get through first, and she finds that most of them are similar to things that she's had before. It's certainly going to be an easy year for her, and she finds herself raising her hand a lot to answer questions or ask about something relating to the topic that she's remembered. Her teachers are pleasantly surprised, and warm up to her quickly.

The same cannot be said for her classmates, and already, they see her as her former classmates did; as a showoff or a kiss-ass, someone that they have no interest in befriending any time soon. There is a sort of stigma that comes with being the one who sits in the front and laughs at the teacher's jokes and always has something to say and always knows the answers.

By the time her final class of the day has rolled around, Emilia can tell that she's starting to earn that stigma for herself again, but as soon as she steps into Dr. Kishitani's classrooms, she finds her worries fading to the back of her mind. She makes her way to her seat, the same as the day before, and waits for the bell to ring and for the strange, intriguing man to start to teach.

“We're going to start our unit with basic definitions and terms in anatomy,” he says, after he's taken attendance. “I'm going to assume that most of you remember the basics from biology your sophomore year, and if you don't...well, that's your fault!” He chuckles before moving on, and Emilia finds herself covering her hand with her mouth to hide that she's laughing with him.

Sometimes, he asks the class if they know what something means before he tells them, and always, she raises her hand to answer, even though he was not looking for any of them to actually answer. He seems very surprised that she knows most of what he is teaching before he is teaching it, but really, this is just because she's had the class before. Still, the tone in his voice when he tells her that she's correct gives her a sense of pride she hasn't felt before, and she can't stop smiling throughout class.

Before she leaves for the day, Dr. Kishitani calls out to her, asking her to stay behind for just a moment, and a few classmates laugh to themselves over it. She does her best to ignore it, remaining in her desk as he comes over to speak to her.

“You knew almost all the answers in class today,” he says. “That was very impressive. Most students don't come into this class with prerequisites.” At that, he chuckles much like he did in class, and she laughs with him more openly this time. “Have you been studying independently?”

“To be perfectly honest, I took anatomy last year, at my old school,” she admits. “I asked if I could take it again here, and I was allowed to. It's all very fresh in my memory, that's all.”

“Ah, that's right, you're new to this school. I hope you're adjusting well,” he says. “But, in any case, I think this a little bit more than having it fresh in your memory. You took the class last year, which means it's been an entire year since you learned the basics. Most students have a hard time remembering stuff just over the course of the summer, so I still have to say I'm impressed with you.”

She feels her face flushing, and suddenly has a very hard time looking directly at him, though it's already impossible to make eye contact. Whatever the case, she looks down at her desk and quietly says, “Thank you.”

“I look forward to see your work in my class this year,” says Dr. Kishitani. “I hope you continue to settle in at the school well, and I hope you have a good senior yeah. That is, it is your senior year, right? I'm sure that's what I read on your questionnaire.”

“Yes, it is,” she replies.

“Oh, by the way, speaking of that questionnaire...I rather liked your paragraph on mythical creatures, and how you worded your refusal to not believe in anything until there's concrete proof that it doesn't exist. Someday, I hope the two of us can have a longer discussion about life's mysteries, but for now, I doubt you want me to keep you after school for too long. I'm sure you have lots of important things you'd like to be doing right now!”

Though she wants to say no, and tell him that she'd much rather keep talking to him, she has a feeling that that probably isn't something she should be so eager to tell him. In fact, she has a feeling that she simply shouldn't be that eager to want to spend time with a teacher, and she really doesn't even understand why she's thinking along those lines, so she keeps her mouth shut about that. Nodding, she stands up and puts on her backpack, and wishes him a good afternoon before heading out the door.

As soon as she's far enough away that he can't see her, a grin breaks out across her face, and her steps feel a bit lighter.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly no idea where i am going with this  
> but, if you look to your left, you'll see another AU when Erika ropes Emilia into joining a cosplay group  
> oh look and i even pulled in kasane again  
> old habits die hard

School had started on a Wednesday, so the third day of school is Friday. Emilia is still in a good mood from the day before, though she doesn't know why such a brief encounter has had such an effect on her. She knows that being praised by teachers- particularly favorites, and she supposes that it's rather obvious that Dr. Kishitani is already her favorite- has always made her happy, but somehow, this feels different.

When she makes it to her third class and greets Erika, the other girl is grinning from ear to ear and says, “Emichi, I've got a really important question for you! Do you have any plans for after school?”

It's the weekend, and even if it wasn't, it's only the first week of school, so she doesn't have enough of a work load to really concern herself with it. And then there's the fact that, so far, Erika and Walker are still the only friends she's made at school. She won't allow herself to get down about that, considering she's lucky that she made two friends so quickly, but it's hard not to notice the fact that she is starting to get her old reputation back.

“I'm not doing anything,” she replies. “Why?”

“Well, I'm in this club, we meet on Fridays. I was wondering if you were interested in cosplay at all!”

“Um...hm, let's see,” says Emilia, pausing to think about the word. “That's the thing where you dress up as characters, right?”

“That's one way to do it, yeah. Really, it involves all kinds of costumes. It's a lot of fun, and you don't even have to know a lot of characters to get started in it,” she replies. “I mean, if you're not into it, that's fine, but I think you have a really great look for it! If you want to come to the first meeting with me after school and check it out, then that'd be fun!”

Emilia has never really considered anything like that before, but if the others in the club are anything like Erika, then she's sure that she'll enjoy it, just for that alone. At the very least, she thinks it's worth a try, so she says, “That does sound like fun! Where do you guys meet at?”

“I'll meet you after your last class and show you the classroom we meet in, cos I don't think you've ever been there before. Ah, man, I'm so excited now!”

~X~

Emilia is so early to her anatomy class that she is the first one in the room, and she sits at her desk and watches Dr. Kishitani write on the board, getting ready for their lesson for the day. She, for whatever reason, looks forward to him collecting their homework, and looks forward to getting hers back on Monday, Despite already knowing all of the answers, she double and triple checked her homework, just to make sure she didn't make any silly mistakes.

She wants him to be impressed with her again; she doesn't want to let him down when she's already got his attention.

The rest of the class filters in and he collects their homework, scolding those who forgot to do theirs almost mercilessly, though everything he says comes out sounding like a light teasing. She knows it's impolite to laugh at her classmates in that sort of situation, but it is very hard to hold her laughter back all the same, simply because she thinks Dr. Kishitani is so funny. Class passes by too quickly, and he calls on her more eagerly than the day before, and by the time it's over, she's found herself wishing that it would never end.

But it does come to an end, and, even though she has somewhere to be, she hopes that Dr. Kishitani will stop her to talk to her again. He doesn't, and she sees Erika hanging around in the hallway, so she packs up her things and she leaves, saying a soft goodbye to the man she's come to admire so much in the past few days.

“Goodbye, Emilia,” he replies. “Have a nice weekend!”

Hearing him call her by name fills her with an excitement that directly clashes with the disappointment that wells up upon remembering that it is the weekend, and that she won't have this class again until Monday. She shakes her head, unsure of what's come over her, and goes to meet Erika.

“Alright, so the club meets in a classroom near the auditorium,” she says. “See, cos that way we have access to the storage room for the theatre costumes, and we can use the backstage dressing rooms when there isn't anyone rehearsing for a show. Sometimes we even share costumes with the drama kids.”

Emilia follows behind her and listens as she continues to tell her about the club, talking about the different members. “There are only a few of us, and none of them have the same lunch hour as me and Walker, which really sucks. I guess, out of all of them, I'm closest to Azusa. Oh, and our teacher adviser! Well, she isn't a teacher, she's one of the school's secretaries, but still! Miss Kujiragi. She's so hot! Like, it should be criminal for someone like that to be so close to me when it's a forbidden love!”

She's taken aback by that, as it's the first time they've really talked about anything romantic. Actually, when she thinks about it, it might be the first time she's had a friend tell her something like that, and what's even more strange to her is the fact that Erika is openly confessing to having a crush on the school secretary. She supposes she's heard of people being attracted to teachers and faculty members, at least in works of fiction, but to have her new friend come out and say it like it's nothing confuses her a little bit.

But if it's nothing to Erika, then that must mean it really isn't that big of a deal at all, and Emilia decides to brush it off. Or, at least, she tries to, but something about it sticks with her and makes her feel odd, and she doesn't know what she's supposed to make of all that.

They make it to the club room, though, and Erika sets to introducing her to everyone, including the secretary that she's infatuated with. Emilia has to admit that the woman is beautiful and looks young to be working in a school, so she really can't blame her friend for the crush. However, as the meeting continues, and Emilia is introduced in more detail to the one Erika mentioned before, Azusa, she keeps thinking about it, and keeps thinking about her own lack of experience in that department.

She's had crushes before, but, for the most part, they were when she was much younger, and most of them didn't really count. Usually, she would fall for strange cartoon characters, and on the rare occasion she did fall for someone that actually existed, it would be someone entirely unattainable, such as the crossing guard or the man who sold her her a Halloween costume one year.

She doesn't think she's had a crush since early junior high, and she's never had a crush on anyone she could actually pursue, even in the innocent, childlike way of asking a boy on the playground to be her boyfriend. Really, she isn't even sure if she knows how it's supposed to feel, having a crush on someone, and she doesn't know what her type would be now, or if she ever even had one.

The meeting consists mostly of them talking about their plans for the year, and when it's over, Erika apologizes for there not being much action. “If you come back next week, we can get you dressed up in something, I promise!”

“Are you sure that isn't just your way of tricking her into joining?” teases Azusa.

“What? No way, my intentions are totally pure!” she protests, and Emilia laughs.

“I'll come back next week,” she promises. “It sounds like a lot of fun.”

But when she goes home that night, her thoughts are not on the club itself, but still on the question of what it means to have a crush, and how Erika must feel, liking someone so out of her reach, and still, Emilia can't make sense of her own feelings or why she's dwelling on this so much. Finally, she decides to distract herself by getting her anatomy homework done, even though she has until Sunday night to do it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't ask me what i'm doing wth this story cos i don't know

The weekend passes so slowly for Emilia that it verges on torture, something she isn't used to experiencing. Even though she's always been fond of her classes, she hasn't ever longed for the weekend to end like this before. It drags on and on, and when she wakes up on Monday, she feels an overwhelming sense of relief, even though she knows it's just school.

When she arrives that morning, it isn't long before she's flagged down by Erika and Walker, who drag her off to one of their lockers and begin pulling out books and piling them in her arms, explaining what order to read series in and which series she should read first, and which ones she should save for later, until her arms are full and Erika has to help her carry the rest to her own locker.

“I know it's a lot all at once, but we were talking this weekend and we really couldn't decide what to recommend to you first!” says Erika. “Don't worry about finishing them at a certain rate, just take your time with them.”

“All we ask is that you're careful! Guard those books with your life and, whatever you do, don't bend the spine. We've got bits from each of our collections in there, and we like them to look good on the shelves,” adds Walker.

“If you're not careful, I might have to punish you,” murmurs Erika, slowly embracing Emilia from behind. Resting her lips close to the girl's ear, she says, “I might have to pull off your fingernails one...by...one...”

Just as suddenly as she does this, she pulls back, her voice brightening as she says, “I'm just kidding! If I were going to punish you, it'd be way sexier than that! It probably wouldn't even count as punishment.”

Emilia just turns and gives her a confused smile as she says, “Thank you both for lending these to me.” She appreciates both of her new friends, even if she doesn't always understand what they're on about.

~X~

At this point, she isn't even really surprised by how much she wants her last class to come, and not because she's eager to go home. She isn't surprised by how much she wants to be in her anatomy class, and how much she wants to see Dr. Kishitani, even if she still doesn't understand where these feelings come from.

She gets to his class early again, and when he says hello to her, she quietly murmurs a response before sitting at her desk and pulling out one of the books that Erika and Walker lent to her. Being alone in the room with him feels so strange to her, and even though she desperately wants him to start a conversation, she's too nervous to say anything for herself and isn't really sure what to do about that. In the end, she keeps quietly reading while other students filter in, and she doesn't look up from her book until one of the girls speaks directly to her.

“You're friends with those guys, right? Erika and that uh...that weird guy?” she asks.

“Yeah,” replies Emilia, confused. She knows that this confrontation can't be going anywhere good, at least not for her.

“Well, I was just asking cos I thought I saw her hanging off of you this morning. What's the deal with them?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know,” one of her friends cuts in. “Are they a thing, or what? They're always together, so it seems like they should be, but I don't know.”

“A thing?”

“Dating. They're always together, right? But Erika's kinda weird, you know?” the first girl says. “Well, I mean, like the way I saw her hanging onto you earlier. She gets like that with, you know, a couple of the girls from that club she's in. The dress up one.”

“I don't know if they're dating or not...” Emilia says, realizing that it's true, she isn't sure about their relationship. As far as she knows, they're just friends, but what if there's something there that she never noticed before, because she's so clueless about such matters?

“We were just wondering. Unless, maybe, she's got something weird going on, you know?”

“Like she's with him _and_ trying to get with some of those girls!”

“Yeah, it could be like that. Better watch out, Emilia. She's probably after you, too!”

Emilia is left completely unsure of how to respond to something like that, and though she knows that the things they're saying about Erika now are more than likely not true, she's still far too uncomfortable to think of anything to say. She just sits there, staring at her desk and trying to think of a polite way to tell them to leave her alone, when Dr. Kishitani clears his throat.

“Ladies, if you aren't in your seats when the bell rings, I might have to mark you late,” he says, but it's clear from his tone that he's warning them against more than that. Scowling at Emilia, as if it's her fault, they return to their desks, leaving her alone. She looks up to give him a grateful smile, but he's already moved back to his desk and begun picking up a stack of papers.

“I've got your homework from Friday ready to return,” he says, just as the bell rings, and he goes around the room, passing back the papers. “Not too bad for any of you, but the early stuff is always easy! If you get too confident now, you might end up failing yourself later. Also, for those of you who don't take my bonus questions seriously, I hope you'll start doing so in the future, because a few extra points can be a saving grace when you're on the border of a letter grade.”

When Emilia gets her paper back, she's pleased to see that she got above a perfect score, because he counted her bonus points even though she already got every answer correct. During class, he sometimes drops seemingly useless trivia, usually regarding various mythical creatures, but she's taken notes on that just as she has everything else he's taught, and it came in handy while doing her homework. This is yet another thing about her teacher that she finds incredibly interesting.

There is a note to her on the page, saying, “ _Exellent work, Emilia! Keep it up!_ ” It is simple, and barely personal, but she gets excited when she sees it all the same, feeling herself growing warm all over while her heart beats so hard she can hear it. Already, she had been feeling strange flustered, after he stepped in to stop those girls from interrogating her, but now...now she is so flustered that she can't even bring herself to look up from her desk, staring at the words of encouragement he wrote for her.

_Why is this happening to me?_ she thinks, and it isn't until he begins teaching that she's able to snap out of it and pull out her notebook, and only then is she finally able to look at him again.

 


	5. Chapter 5

While Emilia's thoughts are mostly still occupied by her strange encounters with and feelings for Dr. Kishitani, she spends the rest of the evening also wondering about what was said about Erika and Walker. She is curious, now that it's been brought to her attention that she really doesn't know the truth about their relationship. They've been so nice to her over the past week, and she's been so happy about that that she hasn't even thought about the possibility of there being more to their relationship.

Though she doesn't pay much mind to anything else those girls said to her, that question remains on her mind, and she decides that she's going to have to ask them about it. It's a little embarrassing to come out and say, but the two of them don't seem to have much shame regarding most things, so she doesn't think that they'll mind answering her.

“I figured you were going to ask that eventually,” says Erika. “Yeah, a lot of people think me and Yumachi are going out.”

“Me and Erika are just friends right now,” he adds with a shrug. “I'm not emotionally prepared to look for love in the 3D world yet, you know?” He says that without a hint of embarrassment.

“If I had to say the kind of relationship we had,” she goes on, “I'd have to say we're the type of friends who might make a marriage pact, you know? Like, if we're both still single by a certain point, then we'll get married. But, you know, if there's anyone at this table I would _really_ want to make a marriage pact with, it's you, Emichi!”

Erika flirts so casually, as always, that it almost passes over Emilia's head completely, and before she has a chance to react to it, Walker's already gone on to say, “Yeah, right. You only have eyes for Miss Kujiragi, right?”

“Yeah, but that's a forbidden love! And even you've admitted to understanding her appeal!”

“That doesn't...that doesn't count, Erika!”

She interrupts their bickering to turn her attention back to Emilia. “Anyway, I hope that answers your question. You know, you haven't really talked about your love life much, have you?”

Flushing, Emilia replies, “That's because there's nothing to tell!”

“Aw, come on, there's gotta be something. Do you like somebody? I mean, I know you've not been here long, but has someone caught your interest anyway? Or was there someone you liked at your old school? Come on, give us the details.”

“If you're a new student, and some stranger were to help you out...well, that's the oldest trope in the book, isn't it?” asks Walker.

“Ignore him, he doesn't know anything about real romance. Anyway, come on, Emichi! Dirty details, remember?”

“But there aren't any details!” she protests. “Dirty or otherwise. I've never... _really_...liked anyone before? I don't think?”

“Aw, she's so innocent! That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!” Erika teases, but there isn't any ill will in her teasing, and Emilia decides that it's safe to ask her a few more questions on the topic.

“I'm really not even sure what it feels like. To like somebody like that, I mean.”

“Oh! Oh, Yumachi, you better keep your mouth shut cos I don't want you trying to give her your bad advice, okay?” Erika beams in excitement. “Just leave this all to me! The most important thing to remember is that it feels a little different for everyone, and that romance is complicated. Even for an expert like myself, it's really hard to describe, but I guess most prominent is the typical feeling of your heart pounding when you're near them.”

She nods to herself before she continues. “You get nervous, but you get excited too! Even though you can barely keep your head on straight around them, you still want to spend every second you can with them! Nothing makes you happier than spending time with them or them showing you positive attention. Whenever you're apart, you can't stop thinking about them, even when it doesn't make sense, and any time you're away...all you want is to be with them!”

By the time she finishes her spiel, she's begun making dramatic gestures and flourishes, and her voice is so loud that people at nearby tables are staring. Emilia looks down, her face red, though this is only partially due to the unwanted attention. Though she isn't sure- or, rather, she doesn't  _want_ to be sure- the things that Erika are describing sound a little too familiar to her. In fact, it's so familiar that she feels herself growing very, very uncomfortable.

“I don't know if I've ever felt that for anyone before,” she lies. “Maybe when I was little, I might have had a crush or two, but I've never felt anything that serious.”

“Oh well, you're just a late bloomer! You'll find a heartthrob one of these days,” says Erika.

And then Walker, unable to contain himself any longer, starts lecturing on romance based on the most popular harem storylines, and Emilia is able to avoid any suspicion before she knows the truth for herself.

~X~

Of course, she's already started to realize what is happening, but she's refusing to accept it completely until she knows for certain. She is waiting as long as she can, drawing out her suspicions for the rest of the day, and waiting until her final class before she allows herself to really consider the possibility.

But when she sits down, and the girls from the day before flock around her again and start trying to ask her about Erika, making the questions a little more personal this time- “So, is it because  _you're_ into her?” “Aren't you a little jealous of all the girls she tries to take in?” “Was she really hitting on you at lunch today? Cos someone said they overheard something really weird!”- she is almost able to distract herself from her worries.

And then Dr. Kishitani notices them, and shoos them to their desks like the day before, and her heartbeat picks up all over again, and she doesn't know what to do with herself. He begins class as if nothing happened and she hears someone mutter, “Teacher's pet,” and she stares down at her shaking hands and wonders. And when he starts passing back the homework from the day before, and she sees she's gotten bonus points again, and she sees the note that says,  _Excellent work again! I'm impressed!_ she knows.

She knows that everything Erika said felt familiar for a reason, and she knows that her strange feelings for Dr. Kishitani are easy to explain, and she knows why she felt so odd when Erika talked about having a crush on Miss Kujiragi. Everything adds up, and she knows, without a doubt, that it's because she likes him. All this time, she's had a crush on her eccentric anatomy teacher, and it's been obvious, whether she's been willing to acknowledge it or not.

But now, there is no way for her to run from it. Now, she knows, and now, she can't deny it. She just has no idea what she's supposed to.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic isn't dead folks

That night, Emilia barely gets any sleep. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her revelation, and has spent most of the day in some sort of daze, trying to work through her thoughts. Even though it’s obvious now that she likes Dr. Kishitani, that doesn’t mean that she understands even that, having never felt this seriously about anyone before. She likes him, but what does that really mean for her, and what does it mean now that she knows that?

Emilia barely gets any sleep, and when she does, she has weird dreams that she can’t quite remember or piece together when she wakes up, sometimes involving Dr. Kishitani, sometimes involving Erika and Walker, sometimes involving Miss Kujiragi, and sometimes involving the girls at school surrounding her and calling her the teacher’s pet. She can never piece together all of the details of the dreams, but they leave her feeling uneasy and anxious, and by the time she has to get up for school, she’s only got an hour or two of sleep total, and she’s exhausted.

But even now, she wouldn’t dream of skipping.

As soon as Erika comes up to her, rather than greeting her, she says, “Whoa, you look out of it! Were you up all night or something? Did you start reading and you just couldn’t stop?”

At her side, Walker says, “Yeah, I’d definitely understand something like that. I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in years. You kind of get used to it, actually!”

“You shouldn’t be encouraging unhealthy habits to a newcomer, Yumachi,” Erika replies.

“What, like you get decent sleep?”

“What I do and do not do is completely irrelevant! Emicihi is still  _ new _ , and that’s my point. You can’t just encourage that.”

“But can she really say she’s a true fan if she doesn’t dedicate her every waking moment to it? And that  _ includes _ increasing how many waking moments she has!”

The two go back and forth like this for some time, not giving Emilia much chance to get a word in edgewise, but she doesn’t mind. As always, she enjoys hearing the way they talk to each other, and it serves as a good enough distraction right now. When she finally does have a chance to speak, she says, “I’m really sorry, I haven’t had much of a chance to read anything you guys gave me lately.”

“Aw, really?” Erika frowns, but only for a moment. “That’s alright, though. Take your time!”

“A good story is timeless, so it’ll have the same effect on you even if you wait on it,” Walker adds.

“But that begs the question! What were you actually up late over?”

“Yeah, you really look like you didn’t get any sleep at all!”

“It couldn’t have been studying, could it? You’re a total curvy genius!”   
“I don’t really see what curvy has to do with it, Erika.”

“Because you clearly don’t understand the kind of character she is,  _ Yumachi _ .”

“No, I understand her character perfectly. I think  _ you _ don’t understand-”

Before they can actually reach a consensus and turn their attention back to Emilia, it’s time to go to class, so they don’t actually get to interrogate her about until lunch.

“I’m sorry that Yumachi couldn’t get his shit together this morning,” says Erika, “but now you can give us all the details about your scandalous late night!”

“I’m choosing not to argue with you even though I definitely want to,” is all that Walker says.

“There wasn’t anything scandalous,” Emilia says, and prays that they can’t tell that she’s blushing right now.

“And yet your cheeks are turning the most adorable shade of pink right now!” Erika croons, and she knows that her prayers have gone unanswered. “So? What is it? What are you hiding from us?”

No matter how she tries to deny it, Erika stays right on her heels, with Walker making what contributions he can, though it often feels like he’s straying further off topic. Emilia is grateful for that, at least, because it makes it easier for her to dodge the subject throughout lunch. If she can just make it until the end, then she’ll have more time to avoid the subject, and possibly come up with a decent lie.

“Ugh, it’s time for class already!” Erika groans, once lunch has come to an end. “I can’t believe you managed to dodge me for that long, Emichi! What sort of dark secrets are you hiding? I can’t stand the suspense, you know! Unless…”

The slow smile that breaks out across her face leaves Emilia feeling cold all over, and leaves her feeling as if Erika might have known all along, and only drug things out to this point because she could.

“Unless what I said to you before is finally getting to you. Could it be you’ve discovered new feelings your heart? Could it be that you found out you totally  _ do _ have a crush on someone?!”

“I...I...well, that’s…” When she finds herself confronted with it, Emilia finds that she can’t actually bring herself to  _ lie _ about it, even though she definitely doesn’t want anyone to know the details of her feelings for Dr. Kishitani.

“I  _ knew _ it! You’re so obvious. Well, come on, you’ve got just enough time to tell us who the lucky person is!”

“I can’t do _ that _ !” she protests, her face going completely red. She wonders, if it were anyone else, if she would be more willing to share it with Erika and Walker. They are some of the best friends she’s had at school, after all, so who else would be better to trust?

“Hm, well, that’s no fun, but I guess I understand,” she replies with a solemn nod. “I’m only going easy on you because we have to get to class, though. You’d better be prepared to tell me eventually, because you know I’d be able to keep it a secret!”

“Me too,” adds Walker with a friendly smile. “I’m really trustworthy!”

Emilia is fortunate to be able to get away from them right then. As grateful as she is for their claims of trustworthiness, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s too embarrassing for her to admit to anyone. She knows that Erika is somewhat shameless about her crush on Miss Kujiragi, but she can’t imagine being that fearless. Though she would never make fun of Erika for it, and though she’s pretty sure Erika wouldn’t make fun of her for anything, she can’t help but feel like having a crush on a teacher is something that warrants merciless teasing.

For now, she has to keep it to herself.

~X~

Trying to sit through another class in the same room as him is more difficult than she ever could have imagined. All day, it’s been hard to stay awake, but now Emilia is suddenly alert and on edge, watching everything he does with closer attention than ever. Nothing of note happens throughout the entire class, but still she watches him, her heartbeat picking up any time she feels like he might be looking her way.

There’s no way that it’s really as obvious as she feels like it is, but she fears that it’s written all over her face; that Dr. Kishitani can tell just by looking at her that she’s fallen for him. Half of her wants class to never end so that she can stay near him, but the other half is relieved when she can finally go home and escape the tension that only she feels.


	7. Chapter 7

Throughout the next few days, Erika does what she can to try to guess who it is that Emilia has a crush on, though she doesn’t come close, thankfully. Emilia isn’t sure that she would be able to keep it a secret if Erika were much better at guessing it, but she sticks to people who are in their mutual classes, or in the cosplay club. Walker seems less interested, and prefers to grill her on her opinions on what she’s been reading, which is always a good way to distract Erika, so Emilia is glad for that.

Whenever she’s in class, things are just as difficult as they were the first day after she realized her feelings. She finds it so hard to focus on anything other than the man at the front of the class, and she’s always terrified that he’ll realize that there’s something off about her, that she’s not just staring at him because she’s interested in the lesson. It’s hard not to get visibly flustered, even just being in the same room with him.

Still, she not only manages to keep her grades up, but also to excel, despite how distracted she is during class. Due to her past knowledge, she could probably do fine without paying any attention, but she studies quite a bit, wanting to impress him. She knows that it doesn’t really matter if she impresses him or not, because she’ll never impress him in the way she  _ wants _ to, but she still looks forward to those little notes on the bottoms of her assignments, praising her for her good work. It’s the closest she’s ever going to get to him, she thinks, and she treasures it.

Of course, her excellent performance in class does her no favors in terms of the negative attention she gets from some of her classmates. Though this is not the only class where she is met with teasing, both due to her brains and her closeness with Erika and Walker, it is by far and away the worst. It is one of her only classes where there are so many girls who want to tease her for such things, and even though Dr. Kishitani scared them off before, whenever he isn’t around, it seems that most of them can’t resist the opportunity.

Usually, the teasing comes after some incident where either of Emilia’s friends does something that comes across as weird, but there are times when it is simply because of a remark made by the teacher, the previous day. In particular, there is one phrase that continues to come up in the teasing, one that follows Emilia even when they aren’t talking to her anymore.

“Don’t you know she’s the teacher’s pet?” someone says one day.

“You’re such a teacher’s pet,” someone else says, on another occasion.

“Of course she’s the teacher’s pet in  _ this _ class. I mean, look at how weird her friends are, and look at how weird  _ he  _ is. Seems like a perfect match, if you ask me.”

_ Teacher’s pet _ , she repeats to herself every time, over and over again, even when she’s home by herself. In her other classes and at lunch and at club meetings and when she hangs out with Erika and Walker, she often remembers that phrase, simply used to tease her for her brains, but one that means a little more to her, considering her circumstances.

There’s no way that any of them have figured out her crush on him, not when she’s managed to keep it from even her closest friends, but still, every time, she’s worried that it’s some sort of accusation regarding that. Either way, she knows that she would likely die if he heard them say that, but that is likely because every time she imagines it, she imagines him replying that he doesn’t care for her at all, something she knows that no teacher would be likely to do.

Either way, she doesn’t want him to know that she is still being bullied. If he takes up for her again, it will probably only make things worse, and, more importantly, she doesn’t want him to feel sorry for her or think she’s pathetic, and she certainly feels pathetic at times, not standing up for herself more. It’s always easier to avoid confrontation and keep her head down; at last, that’s always how she’s dealt with things before.

She is caught between wanting attention from Dr. Kishitani, just because she likes it when he talks to her and likes any interaction that they have, and not wanting him to notice her at all, because she doesn’t know how to talk to someone that she likes, even if it is a secret.

But he stops her after class one day, asking her if he can talk to her about something, and she tries to keep her mixture of excitement and dread from showing on her face.

“I just wanted to praise you for all the hard work you’ve been putting in,” he says, once it’s just the two of them. “I know I say a lot on your homework, but I haven’t been as verbally supportive, and I felt like it was high time I said something about it.”

“You didn’t have to,” she says softly, before realizing that she sounds ungrateful. “But I really appreciate it!” she adds.

“And I appreciate your enthusiasm in class,” Dr. Kishitani replies. “I’m more likely to get that much effort out of juniors, since they’re so worried about college, but we’re getting to a point where most seniors check out even before they’ve actually applied anywhere.”

“Well, I really enjoy the class,” she says. “It’s one of my favorite subjects.”

“Now, now, don’t flatter me too much,” he says in a teasing tone, and she feels herself blush. “I really do appreciate your effort, though, and I wanted to tell you that. You can head on home now, since I’m sure even a studious kid like you wants to get out of here as quickly as possible.”

She wants to tell him that that isn’t true, and that she would rather spend as much time with him as possible, that she would spend hours in his classroom if she could, but she knows that that would just be a dead giveaway, and incredibly creepy on top of that. Instead, she just smiles up at him, and says, “Thank you so much! I’ll see you tomorrow!” before taking her leave.

As hard as it is to be around him, she rather likes the way her heart feels like it could beat out of her chest after their encounter, and she runs through the conversation several times as she tries to fall asleep that night. She really,  _ really _ has it bad for him.


	8. Chapter 8

From that point on, Dr. Kishitani begins praising Emilia in person more and make often. There are more days where he asks her to stay after class just to say that she's doing a good job, and though this earns her more teasing from those who wonder why he wants to talk to her so much, she can't bring herself to care. Talking one on one with him always puts her in such a state of bliss that she isn't even remotely bothered by what goes on outside of her little bubble.

It's almost the middle of the semester, and he claims that for those seniors who haven't given up yet, that that is the most common time for them to start to slack off. Early application due dates are approaching for colleges, and some will be accepted early; he claims that he wants to keep one of his top students motivated, so that she doesn't become another one of the unfortunate slackers.

Of course, she'd never dream of it in  _ any _ class, but she doesn't tell him that his class in particular is more important to her than any others. Instead, she always thanks him for his continued encouragement.

One day, when they are talking alone, he says, “Since it’s almost the midterm, I think I should go ahead and let you know that we have group projects coming up, rather than a big test. However, if you'd prefer to work on the project alone, I'm going to allow that.”

“Because I have no friends?” she can't help but ask.

“Because I know you're capable of doing the work on your own,” he replies. “And because I know you don't see eye to eye with some of the girls in the class, and I don't want to force you to work with someone you don't get along with. It's likely you'd just end up having to carry the whole project yourself either way, don't you agree?”

Somehow, he has a way of saying it that doesn't come across as him implying that she has no friends, even though she knows that's exactly what this comes down to. He says it as if he understands what it's like for someone like her to be in a project group with people who don't like her, but would rely on her intelligence at the same time, and she wonders, for a moment, what high school was like for him.

“I understand,” she says. “Thank you for the opportunity, I promise I’ll do my best on the project!”

“I’d say that you don’t even know anything about it yet, but, considering it’s you, I believe you,” he replies. “I’m sure I won’t regret allowing you to work online on it, either.”

It becomes easier to talk alone with him every time that she does it, until she reaches a point where she wants to hang around after school, regardless of if he asked her to or not. She knows that she shouldn’t do that, that the two of them aren’t friends and that she’s just being delusional, but some days she can’t help but make up an excuse to talk to him, and hangs around after school more often than not. Still, he at least makes an effort to act interested in what she has to say, and sometimes it’s hard not to think that there might be something more going on between the two of them.

Still, she’s sure that she’s just misinterpreting things, because she wants to be more important to him than she actually is. She isn’t the teacher’s pet; she just  _ wants _ to be.

~X~

“Once you decide what pairings you’re into, I can hook you up with the really good content,” Erika says, in the middle of one of their post-cosplay club conversations. Some Fridays, Emilia will go home with Erika after school, where Erika continues to try to educate her in all of her interests.

“And what does that mean?” she asks.

“Well, you know what pairings are, but you have to know that fans like to write and draw stuff for that!” her friend replies. “Some of it is sweet, and innocent, and that’s all well and good, but then there’s the  _ really _ good stuff, you know?”

“I don’t know if I do?” Already, Emilia can feel herself blushing, because she has a bit of an idea, she just doesn’t want to say it out loud.

“The  _ good _ stuff,” Erika says, leaning in conspiratorially. “You know, rated R and above! Emphasis on the above of course!”

“O-oh.”

“Trust me, whatever you’re into, I bet we could find something for you,” she continues. “What kind of stuff  _ are _ you into? Or are you one of those super innocent virgin types? That’s kind of what I had you figured you for, but I guess you could be a secret freak too.”

“I-I-I’m not! Not at all!”

“That’s what I thought! Well, don’t worry...it’s just the two of us here, so I can take plenty of time to educate you…”

~X~

When Emilia is finally home by herself, her mind is still on the topics she and Erika discussed. Fortunately for her, her friend did not insist on a hands-on demonstration, but there was a lot of reading and a lot of talking, and a lot of Emilia trying to pretend that she didn’t have anything in particular that she wanted to think about.

But now that she’s alone, what else is there for her to do? She’s so curious now, curious about things that she’s mostly repressed, and she can’t stop herself from locking her bedroom door, and slowly stripping down to her underwear, and climbing under her covers, and closing her eyes, and imagining Dr. Kishitani.

Emilia rests a hand on her stomach, wishing that she had gloves to put on that would make it feel more like she’s sure his touch would. Her hand is warm, and she wonders if his will be as well. There is a warm ache between her legs now, and she starts to move her hand down, until it is under the waistband of her panties. She pushes her other hand under her bra, to grab at one of her breasts, and she can only think about how awkward her movements must be.

With no experience to speak of, she only has the weird lessons she received from Erika to go off of, but the more she thinks about her anatomy teacher, the more the heat grows, the more she aches, and she doesn’t want to stop until she’s figured this out. She imagines him touching her instead; she imagines him alone with her, in the classroom, perhaps on the desk, and, of course, he leaves the gas mask on.

Emilia doesn’t know what she’s doing, but he would be able to teach her, she thinks. Teaching is his job, after all, and he could show her what it is that she’s been missing. It takes her some time to figure out just how to touch herself, but as she begins to understand it, she feels so good that she could cry, and she doubts that there is anyone else in the world she could think about that would make her feel quite like this.


	9. Chapter 9

Needless to say, Emilia doesn’t get much sleep that night, or for any night, the rest of the weekend, as she continues to figure herself out. She knows that if she shows up on Monday looking exhausted, then it will be a dead giveaway to anyone that she hasn’t been sleeping much again, but she isn’t able to stop herself once she starts.

Sure enough, on Monday morning, the first time she yawns, Erika gives her a knowing look, and Walker outright asks, “What was it that kept you up this time?”

“Reading!” she immediately lies, though it isn’t a complete lie. At least, she definitely referenced some written content that Erika exposed her to some nights, so in a way, she  _ was _ up reading, at times. Of course, she expects Erika to call her out on lying, but the other girl, though she continues to give her knowing glances, remains mostly silent.

And Walker just nods and says, “Well, I’m not supposed to encourage that behavior, apparently, but I can’t help but say, good job! To lose yourself in the world of fiction for a night is the first step toward becoming one of us! But, I guess if you hang out with us all the time, you’re already one of us, so no rush, okay?”

“Alright,” she replies with a smile, touched by his odd words. She’s never had friends this close before, and, though the two of them are incredibly odd, in their own ways, so is she in hers, and it feels so nice to be included, even if they are different. Plus, Walker always offers such perfect distractions from her situation, and she really appreciates that.

But Erika is not so easily distracted, and even if she asks no questions throughout the day, she waits until a point at lunch when Walker is not around to say, “Walk home with me right after school, alright?” and Emilia knows that she has not gotten off scott free this time.

She wants to say that she’s busy after school, but she knows that her usual conversations with Dr. Kishitani don’t really count as plans, and that she should break herself of that habit anyway. It’s not as if it’s a real excuse she can give Erika anyway, so she simply agrees to meet up with her, and spends the rest of the day dreading said meeting. Until she’s in class, that is; then, she is just warm all over and embarrassed and turned on, and silently praying that nobody can tell.

Finally, the end of the day is upon her and she can’t escape Erika’s curiosity. Though, as it turns out, she doesn’t have much to try to figure out, and once they’re alone, she says, “I figured you wouldn’t want Yumachi around since it’s so clearly girl stuff, right? It has something to do with Friday, doesn’t it?”

As her face goes red, Emilia mumbles, “Yeah, kind of.” She doesn’t know why she doesn’t try to deny it at all. Maybe it’s because she’s had to deal with Erika interrogating her about her crush so much that she’s already close to cracking anyway.

“Ooh, my little Emichi is growing up so fast!” Erika squeals. “That’s kinda hot, knowing that I inspired such a change! Okay, so are you going to give me any details, or do I have to squeeze them out of you?”

“You...you have to already know that it’s because of...you know!”

“The guy you like? Yeah, I suspected.” She gives a mock sigh and says, “It really was too much to dream I could have inspired a little more! But, enough about me...are you ever going to tell me who he is? You know I won’t tell anyone.”

“You’re going to think it’s weird, though!”

“But I’m all  _ about _ weird!” Erika protests. “Come on, what have I ever done that would make you think I would judge you for anything? I showed you some of my doujinshi stash, we’ve got  _ trust _ now, don’t you know that? If you  _ really _ don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you, but please consider?”

She knows that she shouldn’t, but the way Erika looks at her makes her feel bad for trying to keep it a secret, and she really was close to cracking. That is why she looks down and mumbles, “Dr. Kishitani.”

Erika stares at her for a moment, and every second of silence that passes threatens to kill Emilia on the spot, but finally, a grin breaks out across Erika’s face and she says, “That’s all? You almost had me worried! I mean, I get why you think it’s weird cos it’s him, cos he’s a teacher and all, but remember, me and Yumachi both thought he was pretty cool! Plus, I can’t really judge you for liking a teacher, all things considered.”

Emilia knows that she shouldn’t be surprised by Erika’s casual reaction, but a part of her still is. Now she knows, at least, that she never had anything to worry about where her friend was concerned. “Just...don’t tell anyone, alright?”

“You can trust me! I’ve said it before, I won’t even tell Yumachi, alright?” Erika grins as she says, “Now, are you going to tell me anymore about this little crush of yours? Student-teacher romances are always  _ so _ fun to read about, so please share everything you can!”

Emilia hesitates before she begins to talk more about it. Though she still feels weird talking about her feelings for the older man, she has been kind of lonely, keeping it all to herself. She decides that there is no harm in sharing with someone like Erika, who has proven herself several times to be a good friend to her.

“I don’t really know when it started,” she says, “but before I knew it, I couldn’t stop thinking about him?”

“Ooh, a true classic! So, are weird guys always your type, or is this a first for you?”

“A little bit of both? I don’t know, I’ve not liked anyone this much before, but I guess my taste has always been a little weird?” Everything she says comes out more like a question, as even she is still learning about her own feelings. “He’s probably a first, though.”

“So, what do you think he really looks like? I bet you’re banking on super hot! Like a hot dad type, you know? Or is it the mystery that does it for you? That’s pretty understandable too.”

Erika’s words are embarrassing, but Emilia is happy to answer anyway; she’s happy to talk about this with someone, and happy to not be completely alone in this. They go into greater detail, as embarrassing as that is, and Erika takes quite the interest in Emilia’s late nights alone, and even goes so far as to give her additional tips.

“And if you ever need any assistance, feel free to give me a call,” she teases with a wink.

~X~

At the very least, with Erika’s tips, Emilia’s late nights get a little bit easier to deal with.


	10. Chapter 10

Eventually, things get easier for Emilia, as she grows more used to her new “hobby”. At the very least, being able to relieve sexual frustration, and having an easier time of it, makes it easier to concentrate in her daily life. As long as she restricts her fantasies to the time where she’s alone and able to do something about them, then she’s just fine.

As their projects get underway, she is allowed to work by herself, as he said she would be, and she pays no attention to anyone who has quiet remarks about that. They have so much time to work during class that Dr. Kishitani isn’t doing much actual teaching, and from time to time, he’ll check in with her and talk with her, and she overhears more about her being the teacher’s pet, but she cares less and less every time.

Her friendship with Dr. Kishitani can’t even be called that; he is just a teacher who pays close attention to students who put forth effort, nothing more, but even so, whenever he pays attention to her, she finds that she doesn’t give a damn what anyone in her class thinks about her.

Of course, there are times when having him close to her gets her more excited than she needs to be at school, and that’s always awkward.

The project comes to an end and she does well, and their midterms come and go, and she does well on that. After midterms comes fall break, a few extra days off of school for everyone to prepare for the rest of the semester. During her fall break, Emilia makes plans with Erika and Walker, and the three of them go out shopping. Naturally, they want to go to bookstores and show Emilia around to some of their favorite places, which she is more than happy to go along with.

“We usually don’t miss many releases,” Erika says, “so there isn’t as much for us to get caught up on.”

“Midterms were kind of busy, so we have a little bit of a backlog,” Walker adds. “But look around at whatever you want to.”

“Oh, yeah, if you have anything you need to pick up, you can!” she says. “You don’t have to spend the whole day sticking to us and looking at everything we want to look at.”

But Emilia doesn’t mind to look at what they want to look at, and she listens to them go on about different things as they show books to her. For the most part, she is entirely focused on them, but she hears someone passing behind them, talking to a friend, and they say, “Why do you think he’s dressed like that?”

“And in public, seriously! I know Halloween is coming up and all, but…”

Emilia tries to tell herself that it’s highly unlikely that they’re talking about Dr. Kishitani, that he’s actually in the same building as her, and that, even if he is, that’s no reason for her to go looking for him, and that it’d be weird if she did. She tells herself all of this, but still, she turns to her friends and says, “I’ll be right back, I need to look for something.”

They’re so immersed in whatever it is they’re looking at that they wave her off without much thought, and she heads in the direction that the gossipping friends came from. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, and she doesn’t know what she’s expecting to happen if she does see, but then she does.

He’s standing with his back to her, but he’s in the same white lab coat she’s used to seeing him in, with the same dark hair slicked back, and she can see the straps that hold his gas mask in place. It’s Dr. Kishitani, in the same store as her, so close that she could walk up to him and talk to him.

She doesn’t.

Instead, she heads for the aisle next to the one that he’s in, so that she can wait, and watch for when he leaves. When he does, she steps back so that he doesn’t see her, and begins her clumsy attempt to follow him around the store. For the most part, she manages to stay far enough behind him, and manages to turn away at all the right moments, so that he doesn’t notice her, or at least, he never says anything to her.

When he gets in line to check out, she goes outside, and while she waits for him, she texts Erika, saying that she ran into someone and that she’ll meet up with them later. This is going too far, and she knows it, but when he exits the store and starts walking in another direction, she waits just a moment before going after him. By this point, she knows that she’s stalking her teacher.

He goes in somewhere to eat, and she decides not to follow him inside. It’s about time she gets back to the bookstore, she knows, but she hesitates just long enough to happen to be walking past the outside seating, when he is brought to a table. And there is no way to avoid him seeing her then, and he waves to her.

“Is that you, Emilia?” he asks, and she hesitates for only a moment before she walks over to him.

“Hello,” she says, her voice coming out softer than she intended.

“What are you doing out and about today?” he asks.

“Oh, just, um...getting some shopping done,” she says. “I was with some friends, but we...split off.”

“Well, good to know you aren’t out by yourself,” he replies. “Are you enjoying your fall break?”

“Yes, but I…”

“But you…?”

“I’d like to get back to school,” she confesses. “It’s my last first semester of high school.”

“Are you feeling sentimental?”

“I don’t know about that. I’d just like to keep working and make the best of it.”

“Well, judging by how you did on midterms, the rest of the semester is going to be a breeze for you.”

“I don’t know about that,” she says, but she laughs, and he laughs with her, at her attempts at being modest. They both know exactly how she is, and it’s far from the first time they’ve had a conversation where he’s praised her so openly.

“Your friends must be waiting for you,” he says, and, despite not knowing what his face looks like, she can imagine the knowing look on it. “As much as I enjoy talking to you, let’s face it; it’s far too inappropriate for me to invite you to sit down with me. No matter how much I may want to.”

He...wants to?

At first, Emilia can’t react at all. He wants to ask her to stay? She can feel her hands shaking as she nods and says, “I guess I should go, but I...I don’t want to.”

“It’s highly inappropriate, Emilia.”

“I don’t care,” she confesses, and he chuckles.

“Go meet up with your friends, alright? I don’t want anything to...escalate.” He waves her on, and, as much as she wants to try to convince him to let her stay, she does as she’s told, and spends the rest of the day in a daze.

Neither Walker nor Erika can figure out what’s wrong with her.


	11. Chapter 11

It takes a long time for Emilia to snap out of it, after her conversation with Dr. Kishitani. She spends the rest of her fall break thinking about, running through every detail of the conversation, every word that he said, every slight gesture he made, searching for some sort of meaning behind it all. Not for the first time, she wishes that she could see his face, just to be able to try to read into what he’s thinking a little more.

She didn’t tell Erika or Walker what she did, though both could tell that something was up, and asked her several times to tell them what was going on. It was too weird to admit that she had followed him around, and she knew she would look stupid for having done it, and for looking for deeper meaning in his words. She would look like she had hope for something between them, and there was nothing stupider than that.

So she kept it to herself and went home, unable to get it off her mind. He didn’t say much, but she feels like he said a lot, and nothing really happened, but she feels like everything has changed, somehow. The long weekend passes slowly, and every minute of it that she’s awake, she feels like she spends thinking about him, wondering about him, and waiting until Monday afternoon, when she’ll get to see him again. Will anything actually be different once she sees him in person again?

In the back of her mind, she knows that she shouldn’t expect it to be. There’s no reason for anything to have changed between them, just because she pushed her boundaries more in a conversation, and came closer than ever to admitting that she had feelings for him.

Really, she should be tired of what will happen now. She should be terrified that he knows and that he’ll treat her differently in a bad way, that he’ll resent her or make fun of her for her crush. It’s all but completely obvious now, and since there’s no way in hell he could possibly feel the same way, that means that everything is ruined now. Everything is ruined, and she has nothing to feel happy about, but still she is somewhat giddy whenever she remembers talking to him, and whenever she remembers how close she felt to him for those few minutes.

What’s going to happen and what’s going to change? Will anything? Did she totally blow it? Is there anything even worth worrying about?

She gets roped into hanging out with Erika and Walker again before the weekend is over, and hopes to use that as a chance to take her mind off of things, but even that doesn’t work, and they badger her about her strange behavior more, until she knows that she has to say  _ something _ .

“I’m just...thinking about someone!”

“The guy you like?” Walker asks. “Erika says you told her, so I guess that means you don’t want me to know? I really wouldn’t tell anyone, you know…”

“Come on, Emichi, I think we’ve kept him in the dark long enough,” Erika teases.

“It’s...it’s a teacher,” she starts, and Walker nods.

“Yeah, that makes sense. Erika’s got a thing for Miss Kujiragi, and I really don’t blame her on that one. So? Which one is it for you?”

“Um...Dr. Kishitani.”

At that, Walker smiles, and nods again. “Yeah, yeah, I can  _ totally _ see that! It’s not surprising at all, now that I think about it. Really, I kind of think I had a crush on him too, back when I had his class.”

“Do teachers just not count as 3D for you, Yumachi?” Erika asks, raising a brow.

“It’s not that they don’t count as 3D, it’s just that some of them are more 2D than other people, so I don’t know where to classify them,” he replies, as if that makes perfect sense, and to him, Emilia is sure that it does.

She’s relieved that Walker reacts about as casually as Erika did, if not more so. Honestly, his reaction makes sense to her, and there was probably never any reason to try to keep it from him, especially not after she’d already told Erika.

“So, did something juicy happen?” asks Erika. “I mean, you just started acting this weird this weekend, so something new must have happened! Oh my god, was he the one you went to meet when you ditched us at the bookstore? Did you actually go out with him?!”

“No! I mean, yes, but no?” Emilia holds her hands up, to keep them quiet while she tries to explain herself. “I did see him, but we didn’t meet up, or go out, or anything like that. I just saw him, and I kind of followed him? But nothing happened!” She lies about the last part, not sure that she wants them to know how deeply she’s been reading into the conversation.

“Is this turning into a stalker story? Emichi, are you a yandere now?”

The conversation quickly derails from that point on.

~X~

Finally, the long weekend ends, and Emilia returns to school on Monday. As she would expect, the day drags by, and she both can’t wait for her anatomy class and dreads it. Either everything will be different or nothing will, and she doesn’t know which outcome she wants, which one will be best.

When she sits down in his classroom, in her usual seat, he is already there, and he doesn’t pay any attention to her. He is busy with something, though she can’t see what from where she is. She feels like she can barely breathe as she waits for the bell to ring and for him to begin class. And, even when he does, there’s nothing to suggest that he acknowledges her, which means that nothing has changed at all.

She tries not to be disappointed.

Dr. Kishitani teaches his lesson, getting them right back into the swing of things after fall break, fending off any complaints by claiming that this is important material and that they can’t afford to waste any time. She hangs onto every word, just as she always does, and tries to bury her disappointment. Class goes by too quickly for her liking, especially because of how long she feels like she’s been waiting for it.

It isn’t long before the final bell of the day rings, and already, she wonders how she’s going to survive the wait for class the next day, as if she really expects something different to happen. By now, it must be too late, so there’s nothing left for her to look forward to, now, or for the rest of the school year.

At least, that’s what she’s thinking while she’s gathering her things and putting them in her backpack, putting it on and preparing to leave the classroom. That’s what she thinks, but she still moves slowly, slow enough that the room is mostly empty when she walks toward the door, and Dr. Kishitani says, “Emilia, can I ask you to stay after class for a few moments?”


	12. Chapter 12

Dr. Kishitani waits until they are completely alone, until the last student has left the classroom, before he closes the door. Emilia stands by his desk the whole time, not sure where to look or what to do, until they have their privacy and he is able to tell her what he wants to tell her. He even goes so far as to lock the door behind him before he walks over to her, and pauses for a moment.

Finally, he says, “I can’t begin to tell you just how inappropriate it is for me to be alone with a female student in a locked classroom.”

“Is this about what happened over fall break?” she asks softly, and Dr. Kishitani pauses again.

“You were incredibly forward, you know,” he says, after a moment. “It was surprising, considering how subtle you’ve tried to be in the past.”

Subtle?

_ Tried _ ?

She can’t think of anything to say, so he continues. “I’ve sort of pieced your feelings together, you know. I’m...far too interested in you, as much more than a student. At first, it was just as a student. You’re more intelligent and enthusiastic than most that I deal with, which I’m sure I told you several times before.”

Emilia can’t process a word that he’s saying; it sounds like he’s admitting to having an interest in her, but there’s simply no way that could be the case. She may have had foolish hope in the past, but even then, she was rational enough to know that it would never actually happen, so why is he saying things like this to her now? Why is he doing something to indicate that she might have been wrong?

“I was just curious about you at first,” he continues. “And then, I pitied you a bit, because of how the girls in the class picked on you, and maybe I showed a little bit of favoritism...after that, it turned into...hm, I suppose fascination is the only word that really works? So I developed a fascination with you, as horrible as that may sound, because you’re interesting. And once I figured out you had a crush on me, well...that was what really did me in.”

“Figured out?” she asks softly.

“You weren’t very subtle, though I know you tried,” he says, using those words again. “I’ve suspected for quite some time now, actually.”

“I didn’t...I mean, I tried to…”

“I know you tried, Emilia,” he replies. “But I figured you out, and that made it pretty much impossible to continue denying my attraction to you. Like I said, that was what did me in. I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this, honestly. Perhaps I’m just not able to resist anymore, even though I’ve managed for a very long time.”

At this point, Emilia feels like she’s lost the ability to breathe, much less think.

“There is a very large part of me that wants to take advantage of you,” he says, his voice low, and she knows she shouldn’t be so excited to hear that, but she is. “After all, I know that you’re young and naive and you probably think the world of me. It would be pretty easy for me to do, don’t you agree?”

“Is it really taking advantage of me, if I...if I…”

“If you want it? You know I could make that point that you’re far too young to really know what you want.”

“I’m almost eighteen,” she protests, and he chuckles.

“Age isn’t always the most important factor,” he replies. “Eighteen isn’t the magic number that makes you ready, you know. I have a lot I could say on that, but I doubt we have the time. The most important thing is that I tell you that we need to cut this off before it starts, but I’m sure you already know that, don’t you, Emilia?”

They need to...what?

He wants to...cut things off?

She’s already so thrown off balance that it’s hard for her to process any of this, but this throws her even further off balance. They need to cut things off? He doesn’t want anything else to happen? But then what was the point of telling her all this? Why couldn’t they have just continued as they were, with him pretending not to know? She doesn’t know what to think about all of this, or what to say to him, or how she is supposed to act in a situation like this.

There is a long silence where she stares at him, unable to think of what to say to him, and he stares back (she assumes), waiting for the response that she can’t come up with. She doesn’t want to agree with him, and she doesn’t want to cut things off before they begin- she  _ wants _ them to begin. And if she doesn’t convince him of that now, then she’s going to lose her chance forever, and he’ll just keep thinking she’s a naive child who doesn’t really know what she wants.

Maybe she is, she thinks for a moment, but she decides then that she doesn’t care. If this isn’t what she really wants, and if this is just a mistake she’s making because she’s young, she’d rather make that mistake now, then never know what could have happened. She could have accepted never having a chance with him, but she can’t accept losing a chance when he’s admitted to being interested in her.

“You can’t tell me all this and then expect me to back off,” she says at last. “Whether you think I’m too naive or not, that doesn’t change the fact that I want this, and that you’ve admitted that you do too. Maybe I don’t know what I want, but I know exactly who I should report this to, if you make me.”

She doesn’t realize just how far she’s going until she’s already said it; she never knew she had the capacity to be that manipulative, but when she has what she wants right in front of her, she’ll be damned if she lets it go without a fight. Somehow, when Dr. Kishitani begins to chuckle, she knows that she’s won.

“You’re an ambitious one, Emilia, I’ll give you that,” he says. “You’ll probably never have trouble going for what you want in life.”

“Meet me at that restaurant,” she says. “The one where we met over fall break, where you ate outside. We can’t leave the school together, so I’ll be waiting for you there.”

She doesn’t wait for him to say anything, and he doesn’t stop her on her way out the door, not even in the time it takes for her to unlock it or leave. There’s no way of knowing whether or not she’s really won yet, but she hurries to that place, to wait for him, unsure of what she will do if he decides to call her bluff and reject her for good.

But she only waits for about ten minutes before he climbs out of a taxi across the street. When he reaches her, he says, “I don’t live far from here, and my son won’t be home. He rarely ever is. Would you like to pay me a visit?”


	13. Chapter 13

They sit a distance apart on the bus, after he tells her what stop they'll be getting off at. He doesn't drive, she supposes, and she tries not to stare at him from her seat. If someone from school were to get on, they have to appear to not be aware of each other. Even when they get off at the same stop, she walks a good distance behind him, paying close attention to where he goes.

Eventually, he goes inside a house. She waits before she approaches it and knocks; after he lets her in, he closes and locks the door behind her, taking great care to show her how it locks- perhaps so she doesn't feel trapped, so she feels like she can get back out- and he takes off his gas mask.

She doesn't know if he really is incredibly handsome or if it's just her bias after having a crush on him for so long, but after waiting all this time to see his face, she is not disappointed in the least, and she thinks that says something.

“Dr. Kishitani,” she breathes, finally breaking the silence.

“Please,” he says, “while we’re in my home I want you to call me Shingen.”

“Shingen,” she repeats, and then he leans in to kiss her. At first, his lips are pressed gently to hers, as she tries to learn from him; it’s her first, after all, and she’s sure that he knows that. But then, she finds herself pushed against the wall behind her, and his kiss becomes deeper, and she goes weak in his arms.

Dr. Kishitani- Shingen- keeps her steady, but does not slow down, and the familiar heat that haunts her most nights flares up again, and she desperately hopes that he plans to do something about that while she’s here, or else she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. Something tells her that the usual treatment won’t help this time.

When he finally pulls away from her, she can barely breathe, and all she can do is study his face while he speaks to her, trying to memorize it so that she won’t forget it once he has the mask back on. “Do you want to take this to my bedroom, Emilia?” he asks, and she nods weakly, not caring that she might seem too eager.

How long has she been waiting for this?

In the back of her mind, she knows that it really hasn’t been all that long since she first realized she liked him, or since her feelings began to escalate, but it feels like she’s waited a lifetime to be here, with him looking at her like that. He chuckles and takes her hand, and her legs are so shaky she can hardly follow behind him to his room. It’s plain and white, just like she’d expect from him, and he guides her to his bed, stopping her just in front of it.

“So typical, isn’t it?” he asks, reaching to unbutton the top button on her blouse. “A busty, blonde, brainy beauty? Of course that’d be the type I go for.” His hands are quick and skilled as he goes for one button and then the next; Emilia can feel her face growing red. She hasn’t really thought much about this part, about the fact that he’s going to see her, that he’s going to look at her body, and she hopes now that he likes what he sees, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Soon enough, he has her blouse completely unbuttoned, and she slowly shrugs it off. Shingen studies her for a moment, and she somehow isn’t surprised that his face is no easier to recent without the mask; he looks almost clinical, and she almost flinches back when he reaches forward, cupping one of her breasts in his gloved hand. He gives her a gentle squeeze before switching off to the other, and she gasps softly.

“You’re gorgeous,” he finally says, “but you must already know that. Don’t you?”

“I don’t know about that,” she replies, and he shakes his head.

“And modest on top of that. You’re the complete package, aren’t you?” Reaching behind her, he unfastens her bra; once that is out of the way, he goes for her skirt, her panties, until he has her completely naked and he studies her once more. “Gorgeous,” he repeats, before gesturing for her to lay down. While she does that, he peels off his gloves and sheds his lab coat, hesitating for a moment after that.

“You’re not going to be too impressed,” he warns. “I’m sure I’ve got a total dad body.” There’s something so out of place about him saying that that she giggles, and he laughs along with her, beginning to take loosen his tie. “At least that helped break the ice, hm?”

It never occurred to her that he could be nervous as well, and it makes it easier, knowing that he is. Once he’s naked, he climbs on top of her, saying, “This might take some time. You’ve never done this before, have you?” When she shakes her head, he says, “Then I’ll do my best to make sure you’re ready. It still might hurt, so let me know if it’s more than you can handle.”

A hand drops between her legs, and she could cry from joy at the unfamiliar sensation, something she’s craved every time she’s touched herself on her own. Shingen seems to know what he’s doing, as well, and the touch she’s fantasized about can’t hope to compare to what he does to her in real life. She wants him so bad that it hurts, but he takes his time, telling her again and again that she isn’t ready that, that she won’t be ready until...and always, he trails off.

When she can feel her orgasm approaching, she tries to warn him, but she can’t quite speak now, and he just smiles as if he already knows, until she’s blinded and she cries out for him. Only when it starts to fade does he say, “Now, I think you might be ready for more. If you’re still in the mood, that is.”

Once is not nearly enough to satisfy her, and she’s even more in the mood than before. She needs him now, more than she ever thought possible, and he leans down to kiss her once more, murmuring as he pulls back, “I can’t believe I’m really doing this.”

Neither can she.

~X~

It’s late when she finally leaves his house, and they’ve exchanged numbers so that he can make sure she gets home safely. She has him in her phone under a fake name, and he does the same for her. When she gets home, her parents seem worried; she’d sent them a text while she road the bus, saying that she was going to be with Erika, and they didn’t question it, but they’d expected her home sooner.

Still, all she has to do is apologize and they forgive her, as they weren’t really mad, just a little worried. She’s never been a troublemaker before, and they’ve never had any reason not to trust her, so of course they trust her now. Just like that, she gets away with it, and falls asleep easier than expected, more exhausted than she realized.

There’s something strangely nice about knowing that she  _ is _ a troublemaker, this time.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day when she wakes up, the first thing Emilia feels is a little sore, and it takes her a moment to fully wake up and remember why that is. She feels herself grow warm all over as she remembers the events of the day before, and remembers that they were real, and not just part of a very wonderful, very vivid, very cruel dream. Part of her wants to just lay in bed all day, basking in these memories, but another part of her is eager to go to school, because she knows she’ll be able to see him again if she does.

While she gets ready for school, she thinks about Erika and Walker, and how they’ll probably be able to tell that something is different about her. She’s going to have to do a better job keeping secrets from them now, because, as much as she hates to lie to them when they’ve proven to be so trustworthy, a secret like this is not one that she can trust with anybody. If this got out, it would ruin Shingen’s career, and they would never be able to see each other again. No matter what, she has to keep this to herself.

Throughout the day, she makes up lies about her dazed and giddy behavior, saying that she had to talk to Dr. Kishitani after class the day before, and, though nothing happened, getting to talk to him alone like that was more than enough to excite her this much. Erika and Walker both seem to believe her, with Erika teasing her about her “adorable, innocent” crush, and Emilia almost wishes that she could tell her friend that it was anything but.

The day drags on, as it always does when she’s looking forward to her last class. While she waits for class to start, some of the usual suspects try to interrogate her about staying after class the day before, accusing her of being the teacher’s pet all over again, but she doesn’t pay them much attention. When Shingen enters the room the girls scatter, but it’s very clear that they’ve been caught in the act.

He doesn’t say a word this time, seeming disinterested, but Emilia doesn’t mind if he doesn’t come to her defense. It’s better to distance themselves at school, she knows, and she doesn’t need him to defend her when she knows that they share something much bigger. So there isn’t much that anyone can say to faze her now, and, when Shingen passes out the homework he’s graded, she keeps a straight face when he passes by her desk.

It’s as if nothing has changed between them, and, as she studies her homework grade, it really feels like nothing has. There’s a polite message at the bottom, but, when she studies it closer, she starts to notice a pattern.  _ Spectacular, amazed by your performance as always. Continue the hard work! _ No wordier than anything else he’s been saying lately, but some letters are written a little smaller than others, something that doesn’t suit his handwriting.

_ Same place _ ...that’s the message she gets when she spells out the smaller letters. She wonders, for a moment, if she’s just being delusional and looking for messages that aren’t there, but she thinks, for a moment, about how eccentric he is, and it doesn’t seem beyond him to try to communicate like this. At least, there’s no harm in going to that place after school, just to see what happens.

When class ends, he doesn’t ask her to stay or say anything in particular to her, and she leaves without a word to him either. It’ll be a little while before he’s able to come, so when she arrives at the small restaurant, she gets a table outside, after buying something small at the counter. She doesn’t have much of an appetite right now, and she watches the sidewalk, waiting for Shingen to arrive.

After about a half hour, she sees him, and he passes by, giving her a light wave. She throws away her food and gets on the same bus as him, following the same ritual that they did the day before, and soon enough, she is back at his house, knocking. As Shingen lets her in, he says, “We’ve really let this go too far, haven’t we?”

“Yes, we have,” she agrees with a smile, stepping into his home. All day, she’s hoped and waited for this, and now she’s finally back. It’s real.

“I don’t think we really talked enough yesterday,” he says. “As much as I’d like to just get you back to my room...I wonder if you’re really okay with that. Did you only want a sexual relationship with me, or were you after something more?”

“I wasn’t after anything,” she replies. “I would have been happy with anything, but I never thought…”

“But now that you have me, you should know that this can go as far as you want it to,” he says. “Well, we can’t go public, not for a long while, but other than that. You probably know that I’ve been married before. I don’t know if I ever told you that I’m not currently married. Shinra’s mother isn’t in the picture anymore, and hasn’t been for a very long time.”

Not knowing what to say, she simply replies, “I’m sorry,” and he laughs.

“No need to be, she was a horrible woman anyway.” She can’t tell whether or not he’s telling the truth, whether he’s saying this because this is what’s helped him move on, or whether she really was that bad. “I’ve had a decade to get over that either way, but, truth be told, I never thought I’d be back here with anyone, least of all a student. I’d pretty much decided that my love life had reached its end.”

“But now you want to…”

“Be with you? As much as I can, yes, which is very unexpected. I could very well be walking into another disaster relationship, but I still want to.”

To hear him talk like this, Emilia becomes more hopeful for a future with him. Before, she never dared to hope she could have anything with them, and even as he admitted to liking her and even after their first night together, she’s done her best not to get her hopes up. If it’s only a brief affair...she kept telling herself that that would okay too. Now he’s telling her that he wants more than that, and she is finally able to think that this might be a real relationship.

“I want to be with you too,” she finally says. “Wherever this goes, I just want to see what happens.” She can’t see his face right now, but she can almost sense him smiling at her as he rests a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m happy to hear it, Emilia,” he replies. “I know that I probably implied we haven’t talked enough, but now I’m starting to feel like we’ve talked too much. I wouldn’t want to keep you out too late today, but time is ticking.”

He doesn’t have to tell her twice, and she is eager to accept an invitation back into his bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

They fall into a pattern after that. Though they can’t see each other every day, without her parents starting to get suspicious, they meet up whenever they can, on afternoons and weekends, and, though he pays less attention to her at school, she has something better, and she doesn’t mind. The rest of the semester passes by rather quickly, with Shingen refusing to do anything the week before and of finals, so that she has plenty of time to study. Emilia is pretty sure she could have passed either way, but she doesn’t want to disappoint him so she agrees to his terms.

Lying to Erika and Walker becomes easier, the longer she keeps the lie up, and they either begin to believe her that there is nothing going on, or they give up on trying to figure her out, knowing that she’s never going to spill the beans on this one. They make plans to see each other over Christmas break, and the semester ends without much incident.

Of course, she tells her parents that she has a lot more plans with her friends than she actually does, even planning a few “sleepovers” with Erika, but only after having a real one, because she wants to make sure that her parents aren’t the type to call. They aren’t, and they don’t even ask for Erika’s family’s number, which means that she’s in the clear to spend the night with Shingen.

She’s a little nervous at first, and feels kind of childish, packing a bag like she’s going to spend the night with a friend and showing up at his house with it, but he doesn’t comment. It’s the first time she’ll be sleeping with him, and she doesn’t know what to expect, or how she’s supposed to act when she gets there.

Shingen just lets him in like he always does, takes her bag for her, and leads her to the kitchen. “I’m not much of a cook, so I just ordered something. I hope that’s alright.”

“Well, I did tell my parents I was at a sleepover,” she replies. “Pizza seems like pretty appropriate food!”

“That’s the spirit,” he says, pulling a chair out for her before sitting down at the table. He takes off his mask then, and continues, “No one in this family is very good at cooking. My son’s...caretaker knows a few of his favorites, but that’s about it.”

“He doesn’t live here anymore, does he?” They’ve discussed his past slowly, but haven’t made it to that part of the present yet.

“His mother didn’t want anything to do with him after she left, but we had someone come to stay with us to help take care of him,” he explains. “But I took a job here and his school is a little distance away, so the two of them stay closer, and only visit occasionally.”

It’s an interesting family set up, to say the least, but Emilia is at least grateful that they’re able to have this much privacy, as selfish as that may be. She certainly isn’t going to question things when it leaves them so much opportunity.

“You know, Christmas is coming up,” he says, and she wants to laugh. As if she didn’t already know something like that! “I didn’t know what you’d like, so I haven’t gotten you anything yet, but I haven’t forgotten.”

“Oh, I didn’t know we were...I mean, I haven’t gotten anything for you either,” she says, looking down. “I don’t have a job, so I might not be able to get you anything good.”

“Hm, so I don’t have anything for you yet, and you’re not sure that you’d be able to get me something you think is worthy,” he says, tapping his chin as if in deep thought. “Maybe there’s another solution, then. If I didn’t get a gift for you, you wouldn’t feel obligated to get anything for me, right?”

“I don’t feel obligated, I really want-”

He waves a hand to silence her. “We’re both spending money to get the other something. How about our gift is just to help the other save money and take out the middleman? Unless you really wanted something from me, that is.”

“No, that’s not it,” she says. “Your idea actually makes sense...and makes things a little easier on me.”

“See, I knew you would understand,” he replies. “Now, I will be getting you something for your birthday. That’s not too far off, is it? If memory serves, you were born in February.”

“On the eleventh,” she says, and he smirks.

“Close to Valentine’s Day? That’s convenient,” he says. “So, we’ve solved the Christmas issue, and I’ve just about finished dinner. Whenever you’re ready to do something else, just let me know.”

Of course, she knows exactly what he wants when he gives her the option to do “something else”, and she is not opposed in the slightest. So she helps him clear the table and follows him to the bedroom, where it isn’t long before their clothes are on the floor and he has her bent over his bed, buried inside of her.

Tonight, he doesn’t have his gloves on while he grips her waist, but sometimes, he leaves them on, and she likes that too. She likes the way his hands feel bare, and she likes the feel of the fabric, and she wonders if there’s anything that he can do to her that she  _ wouldn’t _ like, when she has it as bad as she does.

Shingen’s figured out the perfect rhythm, digging his fingers into her slightly as he gives even thrusts, and the only noise in the room is his low groans and her gasps. He always knows exactly what she needs, and when he lets go of her waist with one hand to reach forward and toy with one of her nipples, she feels her knees growing weak and is glad that she has the bed beneath her to support her.

Needless to say, sleeping with him doesn’t actually involve much sleeping at all.

~X~

“I’m stating the obvious here, but you’re going to be eighteen on your birthday,” he murmurs, when they’re laying together later.

“That’s right,” she replies. She’s been thinking about this for a while, but she wasn’t sure if she should bring it up to him, because it’s not like it makes any difference.

And he says as much, saying, “Our relationship may technically be legal once you’re of age, but that’s not really the case. I’m still your teacher, so there are issues even once you turn eighteen.”

“I know that.”

“Yes, of course....still, it makes things a little easier. At least if we were to go somewhere out of town, and someone were to question things, there wouldn’t be an issue,” he says. “And once you’re out of school for a while...maybe things can be different.”

Two things that he says stand out to her; he both implies that he’d want to take her on a date somewhere that they wouldn’t be recognized, and also that he wants to be involved with her in the future. She’s so happy that she doesn’t know what to say, and she snuggles closer to him.

Though she wasn’t sure whether she would be able to hope for a future with him, but now he’s said enough to suggest that he wants that future as well.


	16. Chapter 16

Emilia has to spend Christmas and New Year’s with her family, and there are times when she wishes that they could be public about their relationship, because then they could see each other on holidays. But he’s busy with his son, and she has to be with her family, so they just see each other whenever they can during the break. It isn’t long before the semester resumes, their relationship going stronger than ever.

She meets up with her friends a couple times over the break, and because they’ve given up on trying to question her about things, she assumes that they’re no longer suspicious. But on the first day back to school, while they’re at lunch, Emilia gets up to go to the bathroom, and when she comes back out, Erika is waiting for her.

“So, Emichi,” she says, “when are you going to stop trying to hide things from me?”

“H-huh?”

“You’ve been hiding something from us since October, so just fess up already. I get that it must be something big if you’ve kept it up for this long, but I thought we agreed you could trust me,” Erika says.

“It’s not…” Emilia looks around to see if there’s anyone to overhear before she continues. “I know I can trust you, but this is more serious than that.”

“Serious? How serious are we talking here? You seem happier, so I don’t think you’re in any trouble. You’re not in any trouble, are you?”

“I’m not in any trouble, it’s a good thing,” Emilia insists. “I just can’t tell you, alright? It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that if anyone found out, I mean...it could be really bad…”

“Is it Dr. Kishitani?” she asks, and Emilia pauses long enough that it makes it obvious. “Oh my god, it is!” Erika lowers her voice, realizing that she’s being a little loud, and whispers, “Are you guys, like, dating or something? Is that what happened? Did something happen between you and you didn’t tell me? Is my little Emichi having an illicit affair?”

“You can’t tell anyone,” she insists. “I know that I can trust you, but you know that this could ruin his career and get him in a lot of trouble, so that’s why I couldn’t tell you.”

“I understand,” replies Erika. “I get why you wanted to keep it a secret, but since I guessed it, I have to keep it a secret too. And I will, you don’t have to worry. I won’t even tell Yumachi, if that’s what you want, alright?”

Erika has a sincere smile and Emilia knows that, even though she knows now, she really will do everything she can to keep it to herself. And her friends knowing it might not be that bad, now that she thinks about the fact that they don’t talk to many other people- other than Erika with her cosplay club friends. As long as they’re careful, everything should be fine.

“We can tell him too,” she finally says. “Just as long as you think he won’t tell anyone either.”

“Who else would he tell?” asks Erika, echoing Emilia’s very thoughts.

So they return to the table and Erika says, “You know, I finally got Emichi to admit what she’s been up to all this time.”

“Yeah? She finally fessed up?”

“You’ll never guess what it was!”

“Did she make a move on Dr. Kishitani or something?” he asks, his voice low and casual, and Emilia blushes at how easily he guesses.

“I didn’t make a move,” she mumbles. “He was the one who…”

“Oh, so he put the moves on you, huh?” asks Erika with a grin. “Man, this is such an intriguing story! You know, I read something like this where-”

“This isn’t BL, is it?” interrupts Walker.

“Maybe it is, but that doesn’t make it any less applicable, Yumachi!”

“Gross! You’re always doing this, but no one wants to hear about your weird fantasies!”

“It’s not  _ my  _ fantasies if someone else wrote them. Besides, it’s not gross, even  _ you’ve _ admitted to liking guys before!”

“Don’t throw that back in my face just to prove a point!”

“Well, then, don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to Emichi about the most  _ amazing _ -”

“Don’t say another word, Erika!”

It takes them a little while to stop bickering, but once they do, Walker turns to Emilia and says, “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to Dr. Kishitani either way, but you’re my friend.”

“We support you one hundred percent, Emichi!”

She decides not to tell Shingen that her friends know yet, so that he doesn’t have anything to worry about, but she is so glad now to have someone to confide in about things. From the beginning, they’ve been such valuable friends, and she doesn’t know where she would be without them.

~X~

Once they’re settled back into school, things are just as they were before the semester ended, with Emilia taking what few chances she has to see Shingen outside of school, and the two of them barely acknowledging each other in class. Rumors spread that she’s done something to mess up her perfect record and lose her status as the teacher’s pet, and though she’s briefly teased over that, eventually the bullying slows, with only the occasional jab made whenever someone has something to say about Erika or Walker.

January seems to fly by, and, as the month is coming to a close, Shingen brings up her birthday once again. “I’d really like to do something special to celebrate with you,” he says. “Do you think you can get away with faking another sleepover with Miss Karisawa?”

“Well, my birthday is in the middle of the week, so I don’t think my parents will care if I want to do something with a friend over the weekend,” she replies, trying not to look too excited. What could he have in mind for her?

“I’d like to go out with you,” he goes on. “You know, take you some place no one will recognize us, and all that. Romantic, right?”

“Very,” she says, almost breathlessly. It’s hard not to look overeager, especially because she wants to be able to go on a date with him. He expresses the same desire for a relationship with her, but the nature of their relationship means that they aren’t able to do much more than what they already do. No matter how they may try to include romance, it still feels like just another affair.

Going on a date with Shingen would be like a dream come true for her, and the perfect way to spend her birthday. Already, she plans her excuse with her parents, and already, she can’t wait for the weekend following her birthday. It’ll be Valentine’s Day when they get to go out, and she can’t imagine anything better.

“I’ll make all the arrangements, and we can get away for a little while,” he says. “I can hardly wait, Emilia.”

He’s excited too, which is good to know. She grins at last and says, “Me neither!” By now, she knows that she’s falling in love with him- or at least, she assumes, but she’s never been in love before- and she wonders if that’s something she should express to him or keep to herself.


	17. Chapter 17

Her parents are fine with letting her spend a weekend with Erika, glad that she’s been doing so well at her new school, making such a good friend. She feels bad lying, but they’ve never been all that close before, and it’s not like she hasn’t made good friends since coming to school here. Erika and Walker are both great to have around, and do well to keep her secret, both promising to cover for her in any way, should the need arise.

Emilia’s actual birthday is fairly uneventful. Her parents take her out to dinner and give her money, and they have cake at home that night. It’s just the same as any other year, but this year, she has something more to be excited for. She can’t wait to get to see Shingen outside of school, and she can’t wait for their date, so it’s really all that she can think about.

Finally, on Friday night, she goes to stay with him, spending the night at his house. He spends a lot of time in bed with her, but he assures her that this has nothing to do with their actual plans, and that he will make sure their actual celebration will be much more special.

The next day, they start their trip, driving to another city that is far enough away that there is no way that she’ll run into anyone that she recognizes. Shingen does not wear his gas mask, saying, “I can risk the safety of my lungs for one day, if it means that we can go out like this.” Without his gas mask or his signature lab coat, it’s impossible for him to be recognized, even on the off chance he did see someone he knew.

She’s packed the nicest dress she owns to wear, and he wears one of his suits, and they look like quite the nice couple, at least in her opinion. It’s exciting, more exciting than anything she’s ever done, and, after the long drive, they make it to the fancy restaurant that he’s gotten them reservations at.

Emilia put in the effort to do her makeup a little more maturely, to do what she could to make herself look older than she is. She is already an adult, but she hopes that she really looks like one now. With her arm linked in Shingen’s, she hopes that she looks like a woman, like the sort who deserves to be on his arm. She may be too young for him, but just for tonight, she doesn’t think that she looks that way.

They have a nice dinner together, and it doesn’t take long for Shingen to bring up the subject of their future. “You’re an adult now, which means that you’re old enough to decide to be with me,” he says, teasingly. “But I’m still your teacher, so nothing can be different. Really, I don’t know how long it would take for it to be acceptable for us to be together, unless we always stayed away from people who knew us.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she replies. “I’m happy with you.”

“I want to accuse you of being naive, but you’ve proven your sharp mind to me too many times,” says Shingen. “After all, you’re the one who manipulated me into this relationship.”

“I’m just ambitious,” she teases, and he laughs.

“That you are. If you want a future with me, I have no doubt that you’ll be able to achieve that, and if you’re in this for the long haul, then so am I.”

They speak so seriously about their relationship and their future, but they still haven’t gone far enough to say what’s been on her mind for a long time now. She wants to tell him that she loves him, and she wants to know if he loves her as well, but what if it isn’t the right time to say something about it? What if they still aren’t serious enough yet? She’s so lucky to have gotten this far with him, so she’s reluctant to push her luck now, and risk pushing him away when she finally has him.

“Would you like to open your present now?” he asks her, pulling a small box out. “It isn’t wrapped but I think it looks better that way, what with my wrapping skills.”

He hands it across the table to her and she thanks him, opening the box to reveal a necklace and earring set with small diamonds. “I’ll admit I’m not very good at picking out jewelry,” he says. “The lady at the counter could barely focus while she was giving me advice, you should have seen the look on her face. But even a man like me has a girl to buy jewelry for!”

“They’re beautiful,” she replies. “I love them.” She doesn’t wear jewelry often, and the necklace and earrings are subtle enough that they really suit her. Shingen stands and comes behind her to help her put her necklace on, and she puts the earrings in, squinting at her reflection in her glass while she does, not that that actually helps much.

“I’m so glad you like,” he says. “I had no idea what to get for someone like you, but I figured that jewelry was a safe staple for a reason.”

If she’s going to tell him that she loves him, she doubts that the mood will ever be as perfect as it is right now. She knows that she’s risking everything, but she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to get up the courage again, so she looks at him across the table and says, “Shingen, I think I’m in love with you.”

He hesitates long enough to worry her, and she prays that she did not just ruin everything on what was the most perfect day of her life. But then he offers her a gentle smile and says, “I never thought anything like this could happen to me. I was married before, as you definitely know by now, and that was a disaster, and I was fine with that. It’s not too hard to imagine someone like me not being meant for romance, and I never planned to fall in love again. I’m not sure how you found your way into my heart, Emilia, but I’ve known for some time that I love you.”

For a moment, she can barely speak because she’s so happy. She hoped and hoped that he would fully return her feelings, but nothing can compare to hearing him say it out loud like that. There really aren’t any words to express how happy she is, so all she says is, “I’m so happy.”

“I want to be serious when you graduate,” he says. “I want to see how far this goes. I want to be able to go out like this with you, and when you’re done with all your schoolin and have a career, I want to have a life with you. I may be going too fast, saying all of this now, but if things fall apart somewhere along the way...well, that’s our problem in the future, isn’t it?”

“I feel the same way,” she replies. “I want to see how far things go, and I want to have a life with you.”

“Then I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen,” says Shingen with a smile. “This will be  _ so _ awkward for my son, though.”

They both laugh.


	18. Chapter 18

Emilia wasn’t quite on top of things when she applied to college. She sent out a lot of applications and did her best to make sure her applications showed all of her capabilities, but she didn’t have any idea where she wanted to go at the time, and now that letters are starting to come in, welcoming her to one school after another, she knows that it’s time to get serious. Though her relationship with Shingen has been the most important thing on her mind for a while, there’s more going on in the world around her, and decisions have to be made, separate from all that.

Still, she has to consider their relationship when she’s making such a big decision. She doesn’t want to go to school too far away from him, if he really wants to be serious with her, and so she starts looking at options that are, at most, an hour or two away. There are some pretty decent schools, with programs that she’s interested in, to choose from, and those schools would not place her far away from Shingen. He could come to visit her or she could come to visit him without any difficulty.

Making a decision from here shouldn’t be hard, but she’s still a little hesitant. She doesn’t want to ask Shingen for advice, and she’s afraid that if he knew she were basing a lot of her decision on their distance, that he might advise her not to do that. It’s not that she thinks this would cause that much of a rift between them, but she doesn’t want to come across as so clingy that she can’t even make a decision on where to go to school without knowing that she’d still be close to him. Or is she supposed to want to stay close to him? It’s times like these that her inexperience shows too much.

She wants to try to make the decision on her own, because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if he says that she should go somewhere farther away, and that they should break up or cool things off while they’re long distance. College is a big decision, one that decides the rest of her life, and she knows that she doesn’t want Shingen to not be a part of her life.

She doesn’t want him to tell her she’s silly for caring so much about staying close to him.

Emilia narrows down her decision to a couple schools on her own before she brings it up to him at all, though really, it’s more he asks her than she brings it up to him, and she’s glad that she has it narrowed down so much when he finally does. He mentions that it’s that time of year already, and asks her, “Have you heard back from any schools? You haven’t mentioned it at all, but I’m sure you’ve been accepted left and right.”

“I’ve been accepted by all the schools I applied to,” she replies, hoping that this doesn’t sound too much like bragging. “I’ve got it narrowed down a little bit, but I still haven’t made a final decision.”

“Any interest in my input? Of course, you’re completely free to make the decision, but if you’re having a hard time choosing, I don’t mind lending a hand,” he says. “What are you looking for in a school?”

“Well, I’ve got it narrowed down to places that both have the sort of program I’m looking for and that aren’t too far away,” she says, admitting the last part a little reluctantly.

“So, you want to stay close?” he asks, and she hesitates again.

“I do.”

“Well, that’s understandable,” he replies. “Being close to home has its benefits. If you need to return for a family emergency, or even just want to visit your family, it’s not a big ordeal. Some people act like the only way to really experience college is to travel all over, but that’s not true for everyone. Plus, if you stayed close, it wouldn’t be hard to visit me either.”

As soon as she hears him say it, she knows that all of her worries have been for nothing, of course. He told her that he loved her already; why should she worry about him wanting to see her? Of course he wants to see her, just as much as she wants to see him. It was another stupid thing to worry about.

“That was part of why I wanted to,” she confesses, and he nods.

“Naturally. We did agree to be serious, after all.”

That resolves itself rather easily, and they talk things over for a little bit, and he helps her narrow it down even more. The decision shouldn’t be too hard from here on out, and she’s happy to have him on the same page.

~X~

Spring break is quickly approaching, and after that will come their senior prom. Emilia hasn’t thought much about it, since she’s going out with someone that could never take her, but Erika asks Azusa, and, while she is telling Emilia about that, says, “Yumachi is going to ask you. I kinda put him up to it cos he’d never decide anything like that on his own, but I really want all my friends to be there!”

“It is one of our last big things in high school,” Emilia says. It still hasn’t fully sunk in that she’s going to graduate soon. “I’d love to go with Walker, though!” If she’s going to prom with anyone, she’s glad that it’s a good friend like him, who understands the situation, and she’s glad to be able to spend that time with her friends.

Though she’s spent most of this year caught up in Shingen, Erika and Walker have been there for her from the beginning, and she knows that her year would not have been nearly as great without them there to support. She’s lucky to have met them, and she hopes they’ll be an important part of her life in future years.

“Erika,” she says, “have you decided on where you’re going to college?”

“Mostly. I’m trying to stay somewhere close, but I want somewhere with a good design program, you know?”

“Where are you thinking about?”

They both compare their options, and it soon becomes apparent that they’re considering a lot of the same places. Walker isn’t planning on attending college, but they still discuss things with him anyway, and when Emilia ends up making a decision, she and Erika decide on going to the same school. They’ll be living together, though those details have yet to be decided on, and they’ll be able to stay close.

When she informs Shingen of her decision, he says, “I think you made the right choice. Also, have I mentioned that I’m glad you didn’t need me for a letter of recommendation? That would have been awkward...imagine the bias!”


	19. Chapter 19

During spring break, Emilia’s family goes out of town, which means that there’s no chance for her to see Shingen over the break. They take their chance to say goodbye before the trip, but that does not make her miss him any less once she’s gone. She’s able to text him, at least, and that helps ease things. And she knows that once she leaves for college, they’ll be able to see each other even less often. Having a class with him has really spoiled her.

Her family always goes to the beach on her spring break though, and she tries to enjoy her trip as much as she can. If she were to spend every second trying to talk to Shingen, not only would her parents get suspicious, but he would likely get annoyed, and would definitely tell her that she should be having fun while she’s there. So that’s what she does, though any chance she can take to keep in touch with him, she doesn’t resist.

When she gets back home, there’ll be prom preparations to do, and then graduation preparations and then...and then she’ll be done with high school. Her senior year has been more eventful than she could have ever imagined. She’s not taken much time to really take in all the “lasts” that she’s been experiencing, because Shingen has occupied so much of her time and thought, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Nights are the hardest; though they’ve gone more than a week without doing anything in the past, there’s something about knowing that they can’t because of distance that makes it harder for her. The first night by herself, she tries to take care of things on her own, and, when she tells him about it the next day, he tells her to call him once her parents are asleep.

“It’s great to hear from you, pumpkin,” he says, as soon as he picks up, and just hearing his voice is enough to give her a slight shudder. The anticipation of this call has been building all day.

“Great to hear from you too,” she breathes, and he chuckles.

“I can tell that you really need this, hm? Well, I’m glad that I can help,” he says. “Now, I’ll need you to put a hand between your legs, if you haven’t already, and feel free to start imagining that it’s mine…”

~X~

Her vacation and time away from him is made a little more bearable by their nightly calls, and then it’s finally time to return home. They see each other a little on the weekend before she returns to school, but then it’s back to the usual schedule. Time is going by so quickly now, and the end of the year is fast approaching.

She is soon busy with prom preparations, which Shingen doesn’t mind. “I’m sure that boy isn’t going to try anything, you’ve got too many dimensions for him. I hope you have a lot of fun with your friends. Dances were never really...well, my style, but you should enjoy everything you can before it’s too late. You won’t get another chance again, you know.”

“You really do sound like a teacher sometimes,” she replies with a giggle.

“Well, that  _ is _ my job, so I’ll choose to take that as a compliment. Besides, you have to like it, you’re the one who had a crush on your teacher.”

“Not a very good teacher, considering you had a crush on your student.”

“I don’t hear you complaining, Miss Emilia,” he scolds. “You’re not going to make good on your threat to report me, after all this time?”

Still, a part of her feels silly getting excited for prom, like it really draws out the difference in their ages, so she doesn’t talk too much about it. She doesn’t send him pictures while she picks out a dress, and she doesn’t fill him in on every little detail of the process. There are still some great distances between the two of them that can only be overcome with time, but someday, she hopes they’ll fully be on the same level. Either way, it’s nothing that she’s unhappy about, and just comes with the territory of being with someone different than herself.

She’s glad that he isn’t going to be one of the teacher chaperones, at least, because she can’t imagine how awkward it would be to potentially dance with another guy in front of him, and she just knows that Erika would tease her endlessly over it. In fact, she can’t help but think Erika would be making faces at her all night over it, and that would be more than she could bear.

The four of them go in a group, though it isn’t clear if Erika’s intentions with Azusa are entirely platonic or not. It’s somewhat obvious by now that Azusa has a crush on Erika, but where things are going to go from there, Emilia doesn’t know. She doesn’t know if Erika is still hung up on Miss Kujiragi, or if a crush is just a crush to her, if she doesn’t let it consume her completely like Emilia did with Shingen. It’s probably different; she’s probably more open to other possibilities.

In way, that would be better for her, but, also, in a way, it was Emilia’s inability to move on that helped her get where she is now, and she couldn’t be happier. Still, she can’t say who she would be rooting for, if it came down to Erika pursuing Miss Kujiragi, or Azusa getting her way. Whatever would make Erika happiest, she supposes.

And then there’s Walker, who is completely content to spend their senior prom fantasizing about the world of fiction, and occasionally trying to get Erika, Azusa, or Emilia to join him. They’ve all got their own lives, and their own things going on, and though she knows that there’s still a little time left in their year, and that there’s still time after high school, Emilia can’t help but be sad as she thinks about this as the last time things are going to be this way.

Being with someone older than her has it’s good points, and she loves Shingen so much that she wouldn’t trade being with him for anything, but it’s still nice to have times like this, when she can act her age and feel young, and be with others who feel the same way. She’s glad that she agreed to go to prom, and she’s glad that she transferred here and was able to meet such amazing friends. It was weird, having her last year of school in a new place, but even if she had only met Erika and Walker, even if nothing had ever happened between her and Shingen, it still would have been worth it, because she’ll always be able to remember high school as a happy time.

Even if it was only for her last year, she was able to experience what makes people look back on their school years as the best years of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can y'all tell my high school life sucked


	20. Chapter 20

The end of the school year comes and goes in such a blur that it’s almost impossible to register any of it. She doesn’t have much to do at school during the last couple weeks, as her grades are high enough that she’s able to opt out of all of her finals, and so there’s nothing for her to study for. Emilia doesn’t skip any classes in this time, not even on the day the rest of her classmates skip, but she’s bored out of her mind in every class other than anatomy.

The saddest part about the school year coming to an end is not being able to have a class with Shingen anymore, even if she’ll be able to be more open about their relationship if she lives somewhere that no one knows them. After all, if she doesn’t have a class with him, and if she’s living a good distance from him, then that means she won’t get to see him almost every day anymore. She won’t get to see him very much at all, and she knows that it’s not going to be that bad as long as they stay in touch, and that college will keep her busy, but it’s still the saddest part about graduating.

There are a couple students who go to him over the last few days of school, telling him that they’re going to miss having him as a teacher, that he’s taught them so much and that he will always be one of their favorite teachers. Emilia restrains herself, not that it would be too obvious at this point, when it’s the end of the year and everyone is sentimental. They’ve made it this far without being found out; it seems that they’re really going to get away with it after all.

The last day of classes is bittersweet, and she almost wishes that she hadn’t opted out of her anatomy final, just so that she could have one more class with him, even if they would be sitting in silence, with her taking a test. Still, there was no point in taking a test that she didn’t need to.

Sitting around for a week while waiting for finals to be over, and waiting for her graduation day is rather boring, but school days end earlier so she’s able to see Shingen once he’s able to get out of there. He complains about having to teach classes when school might as well be over, and when she reminds him that it isn’t for the juniors he teaches, he says, “But they’ve already completed their work the same as you all. All they get is an extra study hall, and who would take that class their junior year, anyway?”

“I did,” she replies, “at my old school.”

“Don’t tell me you took it again just to meet me!”

“I didn’t know you existed before the first day of school, so I don’t think that’s possible,” she teases.

“You know me, pumpkin,” he replies. “I’m a man of science, so I always consider all the possibilities.”

“If that’s what you want to call it, dear.”

“You wound me, Emilia, you really do.”

Not for the first time, she finds herself remembering how things were at the beginning of the school year, and how there was once a time when she never could have imagined herself being able to tease Shingen like this. Even now, it still feels a little surreal, like she’s dreaming and like she could wake up at any given moment. But, by now, she knows that it isn’t a dream, and that it hasn’t been for a while.

~X~

On the actual day of her graduation ceremony, she sits toward the front and is one of the first to walk, receiving honors, and then sitting back down for the rest of the ceremony. Where she sits, she has a good view of Shingen with the other teachers, and not even an event like this is enough to get him to remove his gas mask. Plenty of parents give him strange looks, but he is unphased.

Emilia wonders what her own parents would think of him, and she realizes that this is the first time they’ve been in the same room. She doesn’t know if or when they’ll be able to know about him, and a part of her feels guilty about the distance between her and her parents, but then, it feels like it was there even before Shingen came into her life.

Whatever happens from here on out happens. She’s graduated high school and she’s going on to college, and then the rest of her life; she won’t be living with her parents anymore, and the distance can be as great as she makes it. Emilia is just going to take things as they come, she supposes.

Walker is one of the last students to get his diploma, and then there are a few more speeches; Emilia is grateful that she wasn’t involved in enough weighted classes to be a candidate for the valedictorian, despite her high grades, because she could not imagine having to give such a winded speech in front of all of these people. Finally, the ceremony comes to close and she and her classmates toss their caps, and it’s all over, and she’s officially finished high school.

~X~

She doesn’t have a graduation party, but Erika does, with mostly underclassmen from the cosplay club in attendance. Emilia gets invited to a few parties besides that, the ones where everyone in the graduating class is invited, but she doesn’t bother going, because neither of her friends plan to go, and there’s really not much point without them. Her summer vacation has begun, and soon, she’ll be free to see Shingen a lot more, though it won’t be long before she’s busy preparing for college.

In fact, the summer passes by even quicker than the school year did, and before she knows it, she and Erika are looking for somewhere to live, and Walker is convincing them to let him room with them so that he can get a job in that city. Somehow, it all feels perfectly natural that he would rent an apartment with them, and, just a few weeks before school begins, the three of them move in together.

That is when she has to tell Shingen that her friends figured out their affair long ago, and, though he’s a little disappointed that it wasn’t a complete secret, he says, “But, if they kept quiet for that long then I suppose they won’t go back to the school to report me now.Still, it’ll be a little weird to have me over all the time, don’t you think?”

And it is a little weird, to have her older boyfriend who used to be their teacher in their apartment, especially when it’s obvious to both Erika and Walker what the two of them are getting up to. They have to coordinate visits, because Erika sometimes has Azusa and other underclassmen come over for sleepovers, and Emilia wonders still if anything is ever going to happen between Azusa and Erika, but she does not pry.

College classes keep her very busy, as does the part time job she picks up so that she does not have to rely on her parents as much. Shingen jokes about helping her out financially, saying that she might not like the implications of an older man paying for everything she needs, but she insists that she can handle yourself.

“I know you,” he says. “I’ve always known how capable you are. After all, it’s not every day a student catches my eye like you did.”

“I sure hope not,” she replies. “I wouldn’t want any competition.”

“As if. No one could ever hope to compete with you, Miss Emilia.”

And so, her affair with her anatomy teacher turns into simply an affair with an older man, as she graduates and goes on to the rest of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally done im free


End file.
